


Can't See the Forest for the Trees

by writingramblr



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Computer Wizard Loki, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, Scientist Thor, Threesome - F/M/M, eventually, hairstylist Thranduil, lokane - Freeform, probably, thrane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-01-16 15:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1352833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingramblr/pseuds/writingramblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy convinces Jane to go see her hairstylist friend Randy. Jane is prepared for a simple cut and trim, and what she gets is so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKay so I'm not sure what on earth i was thinking, writing this, planning this. it was supposed to be a short little thing, until i saw there was nothing on here representing this mad ship.  
> I have no clue how long this will be, and i've tagged as much as i can predict, just to be safe.  
> also, i know many people DO think Thranduil is probably a little bit gay, but it just so happens he's not in my story. So if you don't like that, don't flame. And i hope i used enough lightheartedness with the subject. the truth is, as i see it, in the Marvel verse, anything can happen. in Norse myths, anything DID happen. in the Tolkien verse, who knows.  
> So, no matter where the underlying UST is, eventually it will lead to my OT3.  
> thanks for reading.

“For god’s sake Jane, would you shut up?”

Darcy swore under her breath as her best friend walked past her room again, more like stomped, actually.

She had been whining all week long, anytime Darcy would bother to listen, when not busy studying or petting their shared midnight colored cat Heimdall.

Jane huffed in annoyance and paced past he door once more.

“I just hate myself. I keep picking at the split ends and eventually my hair is going to stop growing.”

Darcy rolled her eyes,

“Then go get a damn haircut.”

Jane sounded exasperated,

“Where on earth would I go? It’s not as if I had the wild hair past like you do.”

Darcy grinned at Heimdall, who simply flicked his tail and leapt down from her lap to follow Jane’s path.

“Did you ever think you might be missing the point here Jane?”

She heard her friend stop walking, and then her footsteps resumed, and it was only a few moments before she was peering around Darcy’s door.

“What do you mean?”

Darcy laughed,

“For a rocket scientist, or whatever it is you do, you are rather, ah, how shall I put it?”

Jane’s eyes flared and she was probably about to swear, which Darcy loved to call her out on, but she lifted a hand, and simply waved.

Jane’s face returned to the usual calm-before-the-storm look, and she even looked confused, a rare occurrence.

“Jane darling. You’ve got me. Just say the word, and I’ll call Randy and get you an appointment. He’ll bend over backwards for me. You want it done today? No problem. Tomorrow? Name the time.”

Jane felt all the fight leave her, and she sagged against the doorframe.

“Seriously? You think your stylist guy would be able to help me? Little old me, who just wants a trim, not pink streaks?”

Darcy chewed on her cheek to keep from laughing again,

“Um Jane, you do realize hair stylists are trained in even the most basic things? You don’t think they start off coloring hair do you?”

Jane shrugged, and then looked startled, as Heimdall weaved past her, brushing against her ankles.

“Uh, how would I know? I’m not an expert on most things ‘girly.’”

Her finger quotes made it harder for Darcy to keep from laughing, and she could taste blood where she was biting her cheek.

“At least you got the ‘get a sexy science boyfriend’ part right. I still envy you for that.”

Jane rolled her eyes, a final sign of relaxation, and Darcy flexed her jaw, now freed from hiding any future mirth.

“You know it’s nothing like that. Don and I are still completely platonic, for the most part. After all, dating someone you work with can be a minefield of complications. So we’re taking it slow. But I’m glad that makes you confident I’m girly.”

Darcy matched the eyeroll with one of her own, and when Heimdall returned to his perch in her lap, she stroked his ears, and pursed her lips, making her best attempt at an encouraging tone,

“Jane, if you still insist on that sort of mindset, you are never going to get laid by the sexy lumberjack mountain man. Trust me on that. A guy like Don is gonna need you to make the first move.”

At this, Jane lost all the signs of being relaxed, and Darcy could swear she saw her shoulders tense up,

“No, no. That’s ridiculous. If I do that, he’ll call the whole thing off and want to be friends again.”

Darcy shrugged,

“Okay fine. Whatever you say Jane. But lemme give Randy a call for you. What time and day did you want to go in?”

Jane sighed, and shrugged also,

“I don’t know. Whenever he’s free I guess. My classes are suspended for the next two days, while we’re still waiting on the lab equipment. I knew we shouldn’t have ordered from SHEILD supplies. They always make us fall behind.”

Darcy grinned,

“At least you get discounts since you know the supplier manager.”

Jane cracked a small smile,

“That’s true. I don’t know what I would do without Phil.”

Jane turned to leave, and Heimdall gave a low purr, but Darcy called after her,

“Fair warning Jane, Randy is super hot, and will probably distract you. Just keep repeating what you want done to your hair, and you’ll survive.”

Jane rolled her eyes and Darcy couldn’t see, but she called back,

“Gee thanks.”

Darcy mumbled to herself, but mostly to Heimdall,

“She thinks I’m kidding. Just you wait and see.”  



	2. Chapter 2

Jane was under the false impression that any good looking man in the hair styling industry was probably not interested in women of any kind, whether they were beautiful, plain, incredibly smart, or incredibly dull.

She was wrong on that account, in more than one aspect.

For Darcy’s friend Randy, though he may not look the part of an average man, was a rare exception to the assumed rule.

He wanted to be a hair stylist because he loved making women, or men, feel beautiful. Sometimes it only took a change in one’s hair to do so, and he was honored to be able to claim credit for helping anyone improve their self image.

When he got Darcy’s call about her best friend Jane Foster needing a trim, he knew it was much more than that.

Darcy explained the rut Jane had been in, how she’d had the same hairstyle since she’d started school, graduated, and then starting teaching.

He knew that for this particular client he would need to help her see her potential.

***

When the front door bell rang, Jane tried not to cringe. She hated her presence being announced anywhere, hence why she usually arrived an hour early to every class she taught. She liked being first. She liked being in control.

She had no reason to be shy. As she walked inside and approached the front desk, she didn’t notice any judging looks turned her way.

The receptionist gave her a warm smile, and nodded to the clipboard on the counter in front of her,

“Please sign in, and your stylist will be free to receive you shortly.”

Jane grimaced at the small clock that sat on the counter beside the clipboard,

“I’m really early, sorry. I wasn’t sure if that would matter.”

The receptionist, a woman with shiny dark brown hair and bright blue eyes smiled again,

“It’s no problem. We prefer clients who are early. It helps us all keep on time.”

She winked at Jane, and turned back to her work behind the desk.

Jane deftly signed her name and put her arrival time, before moving to go sit in the small waiting area, filled with black straight back chairs and a tiny table piled high with fashion magazines.

She only sat down for what seemed a minute before she heard her name.

“Jane Foster?” A soft voice asked, with dulcet tones like a breeze going through a low wind chime.

Jane would have laughed at her mind’s strange comparisons, but she merely set down the tabloid she’d only been skimming and looked up,

“Yes, that’s me.”

Any other words she’d been planning to say died on her lips. Deep down, in the sane part of her mind, she prepared to give Darcy a strongly worded lecture when she got home.

The source of her temporary insanity and the owner of the beautiful voice was her stylist, the man she’d been warned about. However, nothing Darcy had said about Randy could have prepared her for meeting him.

Randy was not a name one associated with a tall platinum blond haired man. A man who had dark contrasting eyebrows that framed pale blue eyes, eyes that hid amusement at her, or maybe the world in general.

He was wearing a silver dress shirt, tucked painstakingly into a pair of burnt orange slacks. On any other man, they would have looked ridiculous. On him they almost made him look like royalty.

“Hello, I’m Thranduil. You’re Darcy’s mutual friend?”

He held out a hand, and Jane took it, still rather dumbstruck.

“Yeah. That’s me.”

‘Thranduil?’ Jane thought, her mind still whirling in outer space regions.

“I’m Jane.”

The outrageously handsome stylist nodded at her,

“Yes, I know. Please, follow me, and we’ll get started. Why don’t you tell me what you have in mind to be done today?”

Jane noted mildly that his hair was tied back and was actually longer than any fellow girl’s she’d ever known.

“Um, well, I just need a trim. I have for a while, but I guess I’ve been putting it off.”

Thranduil gently guided her to a chair in front of a tall mirror, and she swallowed thickly as she looked up to see him smiling at her, while his hands were busy checking out her hair. She’d left it down and unwashed, just as Darcy had ordered her, but suddenly she was panicking. She had Dirty hair, and he was touching it!

She felt like dying. She wanted to vanish into the fake marble flooring.

Then she finally snapped out of it.

Jane Foster did not go goo-goo eyed over a man. Jane Foster wasn’t even single!

Jane thought all of this in the few seconds it took Thranduil to inspect her hair, and carefully turn the chair around so he was facing her, and in his hands, which had been holding her dirty hair, she noted quietly, he now was holding a magazine filled with pictures of long hairstyles.

“What did you have in mind?”

Jane realized he’d already asked her this once, and she’d completely ignored him in favor of her temporary daze.

“I don’t want anything to be different. Just a couple centimeters off the ends, and I’ll be good.”

Thranduil nodded, and set the magazine aside.

“Now, I know I’m only the stylist, but I would like to propose something.”

Jane nodded, and then realized she needed to stop before her brain rattling actually became audible.

“How would you feel about adding some layers? I think it would enhance your features, and it would frame your face nicely.” Thranduil placed a hand on the back of her chair and spun her back around to face the mirror.

Jane could feel his fingers nearly brushing her back and she gave an involuntary shiver, before mentally slapping herself.

He was just doing his job! He probably still felt disgusted at her lack of hygiene.

Jane gulped, he’d spoken to her again.

“Umm. Sure. But don’t take off too much length. I like my hair long.”

Thranduil nodded,

“Of course. How would you feel about some highlights? Summer is just around the corner, and it would be a lovely addition to the natural brown color. I’m sorry, is this your natural color?”

Jane blinked, before nodding swiftly,

“Yes. Oh yes. Never dyed my hair. I don’t know about highlights…”

She chewed on her bottom lip, and tried to picture herself with blond streaks. She frowned at her reflection.

Thranduil waited patiently for her to finish her thoughts, but when she didn’t, he placed his hands on her shoulders,

“It’s fine. Whatever you want. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Jane blinked, and tried to keep from shrugging. She didn’t dislike him touching her, but considering it was distracting her again, she couldn’t say she liked it either.

“Well you’re the expert right? Just don’t tell Darcy I let you talk me into this. I’ll pretend it was my idea.”

Thranduil smiled,

“Of course. Client confidentiality you know.”

He winked at her, and turned away to gather his tools, which included a front cover for her. She couldn’t fight the shiver when his fingers brushed against her neck, closing the clasp with a snap.

He walked her over to the row of sinks and chairs, and proceeded to lean her back, to begin washing her hair.

Jane was astonished at how much she had started to relax when the hot water began to saturate her hair. Then she felt his hands on her scalp, and she was unable to keep the moan from leaving her mouth.

“Alright there?”

He looked concerned, and Jane could have slapped herself.

He was working some sort of strange magic on her head, massaging the shampoo around and at the same time making her jealous of his skill. If she could do this, she wouldn’t hate showering so much.

“Um yeah. You’re good at this.” she answered lamely, and she heard him chuckle.

“It’s somewhat of a joke among us stylists. You’ve got to have the skills of a masseuse, along with all that involves being a hair expert.”

Jane would have said something more coherent, but she could only hum in agreement.

She almost felt as if she was awakening from a trance when the water finally stopped. He squeezed the excess water from her hair and quickly wrapped it in a towel, before guiding her back up and walking her back to the chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hair washing massage joke is based on my experiences at salons. It's obviously only a guess, but every single time it's been an insanely wonderful thing. I wouldn't be surprised if it was true.  
> And Thranduil's outfit is a simplified version of this look, minus the crown ;) :  
> http://thranduilings.tumblr.com/post/66268964964/


	3. Chapter 3

The next few hours felt much shorter to Thranduil than to Jane, for he had done what he always did many times.

Except for in Jane’s case, he was truly working a miracle. He was allowing a lovely woman to finally see herself as just that. Darcy had told him how she never spent much time on herself, and it was evidenced by her hair. It was a pretty brown color, but showed no signs of any true care. She washed it, and occasionally conditioned it when she felt like it. She never touched it with a hot iron or curlers. Thranduil almost felt like patting himself on the back when he saw Jane’s eyes light up at her own reflection.

He’d finished her hair, and tried to keep her from really seeing it until he’d finished. He had cut the straight lengths into many long layers, and carefully highlighted subtle sections, so that when she turned her head, bits and pieces of dark gold could be seen among the warm brown.

“Oh. My. God.”

Jane whispered, and she reached up to touch it. She never bothered to caress her own hair, unless it was when she was tying it up. Now she felt as if she might never do that again. She wanted to show it off to the world. She loved it!

Jane turned around to thank him, and was slightly worried when she felt her throat closing up,

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Thranduil nodded, and shrugged,

“It was easier than you think. But you’re very welcome Jane Foster.”

She tried to ignore the tingle that shot up her spine at hearing him say her full name, but she still felt her cheeks heat up.

He thought it was adorable.

But the stiff way she reached out to shake his hand caught him by surprise.

“I will be sure to thank Darcy for recommending you. It’s a shame… well, nevermind.”

Thranduil was practically burning with curiosity to question what she’d been about to say, but he simply nodded again.

“It was a pleasure. Have a good rest of the week Miss Foster.”

Jane swallowed thickly and nodded, a faint smile trying to force its way across her face.

“I will. You too.”

She left him a large tip when she saw just how much he’d charged her. Not nearly enough in her mind, she would be having words with Darcy about that. She wasn’t stupid. She’d looked up how much a cut would be, and it was hardly half that.

***

Thranduil had watched her go, rather selfishly wishing he’d thought to ask her for her phone number. But then he realized that might have come off as too pushy.

Besides, it was bad form to flirt with clients.

Unless it was Darcy, and even then, it was simply a running joke between the two of them.

He snapped his fingers and whipped out his cellphone, texting Darcy.

_“Don’t freak out when you see her. She forced me into it.”_

A chirp alerted him to the immediate reply, and he fought the urge to laugh,

**“Freak out? This is Jane we’re talking about right?”**

Thranduil texted her back,

_“You never told me how pretty she was. I bet you also didn’t warn her about me. I thought she was about to faint when I went to retrieve her.”_

Thranduil may have been modest, but he wasn’t an idiot.

The reply from Darcy gave him pause,

**“I also didn’t tell her you weren’t gay. So I’ll be surprised if she actually tried to flirt with you. And if you tried anything, she probably took it all as an act.”**

Thranduil sighed, before typing a reply,

_“You meddling minx. I should have known. Would she be averse to having dinner with me? Or just a coffee?”_

**“She’s not strictly speaking single actually.”**

_“I should have known. But what does strictly speaking mean?”_

**“She’s seeing this guy, but they haven’t actually done the deed yet.”**

_“Darce. That’s a bit mean. Doesn’t equal not single.”_

**“It does to me.”**

_“Well, you’re a bit more outgoing than your friend. It’s obvious to me that she’s used to being ignored. But now, she won’t be.”_

**“Oh god. What did you do?”**

_“You’ll see. Just promise not to freak out, remember?”_

**“I’d threaten you for a picture but I bet you forgot.”**

Thranduil usually asked to photograph clients who went through drastic changes with their hair, but Darcy was right. He’d completely forgotten to mention that to Jane.

**“You did didn’t you?”**

_“Okay so I might have.”_

**“God help me. If she’s got green hair, she’ll blame me.”**

Thranduil sent her a smiley face with a cheeky grin and relished Darcy’s frustrated reply of symbols.


	4. Chapter 4

When Jane breezed through the front door, she stopped short, finding Darcy perched on the kitchen island, waiting for her.

“Hi.” She greeted, rather breathlessly. She’d stopped by the lab to give Don the surprise of his life, and he’d responded by kissing her.

Hence her state of being. Jane patted her hair nervously,

“Do you like it?”

Darcy pursed her lips, and huffed, a pale imitation of Jane’s usual noise,

“I don’t believe you asked for that. So spill. He wouldn’t tell me what happened.”

Jane blanched.

“Um what?”

“You heard me.”

“I don’t know what you mean Darce.”

“Oh don’t be like that.”

“I just sort of went with it. He suggested it.”

Darcy laughed,

“I knew it! That liar. He said you forced him.”

Jane could have bit her tongue. She’d promised not to reveal that.

“Well, yes. You know me Darce. I’m pretty boring when it comes to that sort of thing. But it turned out nice didn’t it?”

She gave a little twirl, and Darcy scoffed,

“That’s not all. What happened?”

Jane blushed prettily,

“I went to see Don, and we kissed a bit.”

“More than usual you mean…oh god! You did it! You did it in a hall closet!”

Jane shook her head furiously,

“NO! No, of course not. We just made out a little.”

Darcy looked gleeful,

“A little? Jane Foster made out with her boyfriend a little? You know that’s like third base for you. Naughty girl. Did you go to the pharmacy and get some condoms? Sounds like you guys will be getting it on this weekend if this keeps up.”

Jane rolled her eyes,

“God Darce. Would you give it a rest?”

Darcy smirked,

“Nope. So tell me, what did he say?”

Jane ignored her, and walked past her to set her things down in her bedroom, but Darcy followed her.

“What did who say?” Jane tried to play dumb, but Darcy wasn’t having it.

“Don of course. Did he declare his love for you?”

Jane rolled her eyes again,

“No. He said I looked different, and then I said how, and he just came at me and kissed me. I liked it, a lot, so we kept it going for a minute.”

Darcy scoffed,

“A minute? You made it sound like a passionate frenching. So you’re telling me it was a ‘minute’ and then you said, oh hey I gotta get home, feed Heimdall and Darcy, ciao?”

Jane started pulling off her shirt and kept ignoring her friend.

She realized it might have cut hairs on it and tossed it in her laundry bag.

Darcy snorted,

“Don’t think getting undressed is going to distract me. We tried that before. You aren’t my type.”

Jane was starting to worry her eyes might be permanently stuck like her parents always warned her at the rate she was going,

“Honestly Darce. You’re a menace. And what is it with your friend ‘Randy?’ you could have told me his full name. Why the dumb hill-billy sounding nickname?”

Darcy giggled,

“Oh yeah. Sorry about that. It’s our little joke. His name is so weird. I could never say it right, so I gave up. Did you like him?”

Jane couldn’t pull a sweater on fast enough to hid how her blush went across her skin, giving her away.

“Sure. He was nice.”

Darcy sighed,

“Nice? Oh sweetie. You know as well as I do you’d abandon your text books for him. I would too, but I can’t stand men with long hair. Ick.”

Jane frowned at her,

“You are so weird. He could always cut it.”

Darcy gasped,

“How dare you suggest such a thing? Randy with short hair? Never. He loves it. He can pull it off too. I wouldn’t ask him to cut it just so I could date him.”

Jane smiled,

“Your idea of dating and mine are very different. You’d be the Delilah to his Sampson. One night of fun, and then he’d be back to square one, growing it out cause you got bored.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes at Jane,

“You know me too well I think... besides; he’s much too much of a bookworm for me. He starts talking about this story he read, this mystery he’s on the verge of solving before the author reveals it, and my eyes start to cross. You’d like him. Once he sets the scissors down he’s a deep guy.”

Jane shrugged,

“Doesn’t matter. He wouldn’t be interested in me, and I’ve already got a boyfriend.”

Darcy frowned,

“Why would you say that? Just cause Don kissed you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a bit of fun.”

Jane coughed,

“Fun? I wouldn’t call cheating on a perfectly nice guy for a fairy fun.”

Darcy bit her lip,

“Fairy? What on earth are you talking about? Does Randy have wings that I don’t know about? You know, maybe you’re right. Maybe that long hair is hiding pointy ears!”

She gave a mock gasp, and Jane could have slapped her.

“Don’t be stupid. He’s gay. He’d start snoring the second I stopped talking about what sort of shampoo I preferred.”

Darcy doubled over laughing, and had to clutch the door frame to prevent falling to the ground.

Jane looked as lost as she felt.

“What?”

In between gasps for breath, Darcy spoke,

“He’s---not---gay---he’s just--- a bit--- of a fan--- of bright colors.”

Jane felt like a deer in the headlights.

“What?”

Darcy looked right at her,

“Oh god, did he tell you he was? Did he joke about flower gardening or something? He does have a garden of course, but it’s only so he doesn’t have to buy flowers for girls. He grows his own roses, and lilies. What a dork.” She mumbled the last bit, but Jane was too busy going over the afternoon in her mind.

Darcy watched her friend carefully, and waited for the lightbulb moment.

“So, the whole time I thought he was just, whatever, he was actually---?”

There it was.

Darcy patted her shoulder gently,

“It’s okay. I was exactly like you once. Then I realized he’s only a mere mortal. He wants to know if you’d go out with him. I told him I’d let him know.”

Jane pulled away, looking horrified,

“He doesn’t know I’m in a relationship. What did you tell him?”

Darcy sighed,

“Re-Lax. I only implied you were momentarily distracted. That’s all Don is right? A distraction?”

Jane nearly growled in annoyance,

“He is not! He’s my boyfriend. I’m sorry if the fact I haven’t jumped into bed with him makes him seem less important, but that’s that.”

Darcy harrumphed,

“So you’re just gonna tell me you weren’t even a little bit attracted to Randy?”

Jane held up a hand,

“Stop calling him that. It’s not his name. Yes I was. Of course. He’s the most attractive man I think I’ve ever seen. But I thought he was gay. So I tried to ignore that fact.”

Darcy grinned,

“Well, he’s not. So Hooray! Take him out for a drink. Or let him take you out. Live a little. You can even tell Don if it makes you feel better. I bet he’d be up for a little fun.”

Jane’s eyes widened,

“What are you suggesting?”

Darcy smirked,

“I think you know.”

“No! He wouldn’t…I wouldn’t…that’s just…”

“Fun? Experimenting? Perfectly normal?” Darcy supplied helpfully, and Jane simply lost the ability to speak in full sentences. She continued to splutter and fumble over her words, until Darcy had to leave to keep from laughing.

Heimdall entered Jane’s room in Darcy’s wake and purred hopefully. He wanted a good petting, and even a cuddle. Jane didn’t have the heart to refuse him.

She plucked him off the floor, and held him close,

“What am I doing? Everyone is going insane around me. Except you. You’ve still got your wits about you hmm?”

His increased purring was her only answer.


	5. Chapter 5

“Oi! Luke? Are you home yet?”

Thranduil called out to his roommate after he slammed the front door shut with his foot, as his arms were full of groceries.

He’d been delegated the shopper and chef when Luke had burned the first meal they’d had in their now year old apartment.

“Yeah, I’m in the game room. What’s for dinner?”

An answering voice replied, and Thranduil grinned. His best friend and roommate Luke was someone he could always count on, even if he spent most of his day in front of a computer screen. If it wasn’t here, rotting his brain with mindless games, it was at work, designing security software for big bloated corporations who hadn’t the first idea about protecting their online presence.

“I bought some steaks and fresh veggies. Thought we’d have something like your mom used to make on Friday nights!”

Luke called back,

“Sounds good! But can you measure up to her?”

Thranduil laughed,

“Probably not. I’ll give it my best shot.”

  
“Your confidence is very reassuring.”

“Oh shut up. Get out here and help when you finish that level.”

“How did you know? I’m just about to crush this guy.”

“I just knew.”

***

Luke was a major contrast in appearance to his best friend, possessing short black curly hair, piercing green eyes, and a face only a mother could love. Any other woman? They only lusted after it. Well, they usually lost themselves first in his eyes, but could go on and on over his cheekbones.

He never brought home any of the legions of women who threw themselves at him, he preferred to go to their place.

Thranduil was grateful for it. He didn’t like the idea of having to cook breakfast for every one night stand of Luke’s.

Since Luke didn’t do much cooking himself, Thranduil always teased him that he’d better hurry up and marry the next pretty chef he saw on Food Network before he got kicked out.

“Nah. I’ll just eat out for the rest of my life. Or hire a personal chef.”

Thranduil would roll his eyes,

“You couldn’t afford me pal.”

“I wasn’t gonna hire you dumbass.”

“Oh now you’ve gone and earned yourself a week of dishes right there.”

“Screw you.”

Those heated debates usually ended with a shared bottle of bourbon and a marathon of the Alien series.

Once they’d finished the fantastic steaks Thranduil had grilled, Luke had finally noticed.

“What happened today? New client? Or did you lose an old one?”

Thranduil shrugged, and attempted to avoid his friend’s curious stare. Luke could be quite perceptive when he wanted to be. Like that moment.

“Oh you know how it is. Most of my fellow stylists think I’m gay, the other half knows better. And occasionally I get a client who needs a major makeover.”

Luke frowned,

“Not seeing how this is related in any way…but you are a rare stag among the masses.”

“Oh my god, I’m living with an idiot.” Thranduil muttered, and Luke laughed,

“No shut up. What were you gonna say?”

“I had a girl come in today, and-“

Luke waggled his eyebrows,

“And?”

Thranduil was seconds from throttling his friend if he didn’t stop interrupting,

“And she is a friend of a friend, got recommended to me.”

Luke raised his eyebrows,

“Wait, you have a sexy friend who I don’t know?”

Thranduil coughed,

“Uh yeah. Because I’m not about to let you loose on her with your magic lines and dangerous cheekbones.”

Luke pouted and gave a mock stroke of his chin,

“I like my face. You know my lines are good. You’ve stolen a few of them yourself, so don’t even go there. What’s her name?”

Thranduil rolled his eyes,

“As if I’d tell you, you numbskull. You’d go through my phone and sext her.”

Luke shrugged,

“Yeah okay. So I would. You know me too well. So this girl, what does she look like?”

Thranduil smiled, and Luke’s face look horrified,

“Oh god. You _like_ her don’t you?”

  
Thranduil shrugged, and looked back down at the sink, the plate he was scrubbing far from dirty anymore.

“Maybe. She’s very beautiful. She just didn’t know it. Not until I fixed her hair for her. It was a nice brown color,”  


“Like shit?” Luke supplied, and Thranduil splashed him with the dishwater.

“No. Like coffee you’ve just barely added some milk to. Or maybe hot chocolate.”

“Oh my god you’re such a Shakespeare. Get on with it man.”

“She had pretty eyes too, and she looked at me like I was some sort of god.”

Luke laughed,

“Hate to break to you, but everyone does that. And me too of course. Your worship.”

He gave a mock bow, and danced out of range when Thranduil attempted to splash him again.

“ _Anyway_ , she just wanted a simple cut, but I suggested a style, and some color, and what a difference it made. She looked like a goddess when she left. I’m sure she got handed quite a few numbers before she got back to Darcy.”

Luke’s eyes lit up and Thranduil swore,

“HA! I knew it. You like her. This Darcy girl, is she hot too?”

Thranduil snorted,

“Just your type I’d say.”

Luke beamed,

“She’s got-?” Luke motioned with his hands in front of his chest, and Thranduil reluctantly nodded.

“Oh shit. She’s about to meet the king.”

Thranduil shook his head,

“You’re such an idiot. She’s only got eyes for me.”

Luke gasped, and Thranduil almost thought it sounded genuine,

“No way. She’s stuck on you?”

He didn’t dignify that with a reply, and his dark haired friend shrugged,

“Oh well. Guess I’ll have to go find this brown haired goddess then.”

Thranduil glared at him,

“No you won’t! Hands off man.”

Luke smirked,

“Please don’t say ‘She’s Mine.’ That’s so lame. I think if I find her first, I should get dibs. You and Darcy can live happily ever after.”

“I don’t think so. I saw her first.”

Luke scoffed,

“And that matters why? Grow up man.”

“She thinks my hands are magic.”

Thranduil wiggled said digits menacingly, at least, as well as he could.

Luke laughed,

“Yeah well, if you gave me a head massage I’d probably cream myself too. Don’t be a dick. She’ll go out with me if she wants to. If she doesn’t hey, it’s cool.”

Thranduil pretended not to hear Luke and his friend simply pick-pocketed his cell phone the instant he wasn’t looking.

He fired off a text to Darcy, who was listed first in Thranduil’s texting history, asking for Jane’s number.

He got a quick reply, and thanked her.

Luke grinned, it was time to go cause some mischief.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mischievous mischief...

Jane was surprised to get a text message out of the blue from Thranduil. She spent a few minutes being annoyed with Darcy for not asking if she could give him her number, and then spent a few more minutes agonizing over what to say.

He’d asked if she wanted to meet him for a cup of coffee at the nearest café, and she eventually sent a carefully calm affirmative reply.

Now she just had to worry about what to wear.

What she hadn’t planned on was texting him nearly nonstop the day before and the day of their coffee date.

***

Luke hadn’t looked forward to meeting a girl in ages. He usually met them while he was already out and about, sometimes during his morning jog.

Well, more like his once a month jog timed when all the beautiful women were out jogging.

After he slipped on his favorite emerald green tie with his black dress shirt and black pants, he winked at his reflection.

Jane Foster was an intriguing woman. He hadn’t even seen how she looked, but he was already immensely attracted to her. She’d talked science to him, and he’d told her about what he’d gathered his friend did with computers, and thrown in a few things he’d heard Thranduil talking about, hair wise, so he wouldn’t seem too out of character.

He texted Thranduil that he wouldn’t be home for dinner, most likely, and told him he was going on a date.

He didn’t notice until later that Thranduil had questioned if he was supposed to meet him at the café also, as his text was remarkably unclear.

It was a joke, but when he didn’t reply, Thranduil decided he’d better check on him.

***

Jane walked into the café and looked around cautiously. She of course knew who to look for, but she wasn’t sure how he might be dressed.

When she didn’t see any gentlemen with platinum blond hair, she breathed a sigh of relief. She’d beaten him there, so now she could watch for him. Just like with her students, she preferred being the first to arrive.

She ordered her drink and moved to sit at a table for two, watching the front door, and trying not to look too eager.

She never would have admitted it, especially to Darcy, but she was excited to see Thranduil again.

Her drink was announced, along with her name, and she went to go pick it up.

She returned to find a handsome dark haired man sitting at the table she’d just left.

“Ahem. Pardon me, but that seat is taken.”

Jane wasn’t one for confrontation, but there were several other empty chairs and tables, so she didn’t feel bad asserting herself.

The man smiled, rather charmingly she noted with some dismay, she suddenly began cursing the perfect hairstyle from her absent date.

“Is it now? Well I think you’re right. I’m here.”

Jane fought the urge to roll her eyes, it wasn’t the most attractive feature,

“No really. I’m meeting someone, and you’re in his seat.”

The man nodded,

“Yes. You’re Jane right? The science professor? Star watcher?”

Jane realized he must have heard her name over the speakers, and she suddenly flinched back,

“Yeah I am. What of it creep?”

The man pouted,

“Don’t be mean. I know who you are not just from your coffee. I’m the one who you’re meeting. I’m Luke. Hello.”

He held out his hand, and she stared at it like it was covered in visible bacteria,

“How do you know me? Who are you really?”

The man, Luke, sighed, and held out his cellphone, which he’d just pulled from his pants pocket,

“This is you, is it not?”

He pointed to the screen, and Jane was horrified to see a hauntingly similar conversation to the one she’d been having with Thranduil.

With someone who she’d _thought_ was him.

But wasn’t.

“Oh my god…”

Jane nearly dropped her coffee, as she backed slowly away from Luke, preparing to run.

“Wait please, can’t we sit and talk?”

He rose to follow her, and she shook her head,

“I don’t know you. You’re scaring me. You’ve been lying to me. How did you get my number?”

Luke sighed, and nodded,

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve been a bit of a dick.”

Jane’s eyes widened,

“A bit? Pretending to be someone you’re not? And you even got me to meet you!”

Luke held up his hands, a gesture of surrender,

“Yes. I know. But I do know you. Sort of. My roommate is Thranduil. I’m his best friend. I stole his phone and texted Darcy, asking for your number. I know. It was stupid. But I really wanted to meet the girl who was making my friend so nutso. He likes you.”

As if that softened the blow, Jane scoffed.

“Okay, so why shouldn’t I throw my coffee at you?”

Jane shook her cup in his direction, rather menacingly,

“Ah, well, I can’t really say. If you would forgive me, I’d happily buy you another cup, maybe something less dangerous?”

Jane opened her mouth to tell him where to shove his coffee but was interrupted by the sight of a familiar blond mane.

“Thranduil?”

“Jane! Luke? What are you doing here?”

Luke grinned sheepishly and turned to face his friend.

“Oh hey. I was just talking to Jane here. Hoping to find out what she likes to do in her spare time, when not getting her hair done or teaching physics and astronomy.”

Jane frowned at him, and watched as Thranduil yanked him aside, and slapped him.

“Don’t ever interfere like that again. I know what you’re up to, I called Darcy. Then when you didn’t answer my texts, I came here.”

Luke shrugged,

“Okay. You got me. I was originally gonna say I was your lover, and generally be more of a dick, but when I saw how stunning she was I kinda winged it.”

“You are such an asshole sometimes Luke.”

“But you love it.”

“Actually, I don’t. Please get the hell out of here.”

Luke grimaced,

“Since you said ‘please…’”

Thranduil rolled his eyes and shoved him away.

He turned back to apologize to Jane but stopped short when he saw she was fighting back a laugh.

“I’m sorry, but you guys really need to work on your game.”

Thranduil tried to force a smile,

“I swear, he isn’t usually this devious. He always says he just smiles and the girls follow.”

Jane raised her eyebrows,

“Well maybe if he hadn’t tried to pretend to be you, it might have worked a little better.”

Thranduil rubbed a hand over his face and avoided her gaze,

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that. I bet now you’d rather go home and tell Darcy this whole entire thing.”

Jane nodded,

“The thought had occurred to me. Considering I still have a technical boyfriend. I shouldn’t even be here. But I had such a good time talking with you over the phone I said yes. Then I find out I wasn’t even exchanging words with you. So I’m a bit confused, to say the least.”

Thranduil looked curious,

“What did you two talk about?”

Jane shrugged,

“I told him about what I was teaching, what I’m researching in my lab with my partner, who as it happens _is_ my boyfriend. Among other things.”

Thranduil sighed,

“I am surprised that Luke managed to keep your interest, pretending to be me. What has he told you?”

Jane smiled, and reached out to pat his shoulder. She’d not told him, nor did she plan to, but she thought he looked extremely nice in his dark purple button-up and khaki slacks.

“He never said a bad word about you. Don’t worry. I’m sorry I didn’t ever get a chance to talk to you though. If you ever want an opinion on the latest scientific journal, give me a call.”

Though she was quite a bit shorter than he was, she braced herself with a hand on each shoulder, and stretched up to brush a kiss against his cheek before saying a quiet goodbye.

Thranduil was left staring off into space, wondering just what he’d done to be thrown into such a tumultuous situation.

He knew one thing for sure; he was going to kill Luke for screwing this up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's taken so long to update. but the muse/plot bunnies have been giving me trouble with this story.

Darcy was shockingly solemn when Jane arrived home, and she had the feeling it was from what Thranduil had said.

“Are you okay?”

Darcy probed gently, and Jane nodded,

“Yeah, it’s okay. It could have been worse. It was actually kinda funny watching them argue.”

Darcy cracked a smile,

“You’re saying you liked them fighting over you? Jane Foster, likes the caveman approach. Does Don throw you over his shoulder and walk you to the bedroom?”

Jane rolled her eyes,

“No Darcy. It’s not like that. They may have been fighting, but it wasn’t over me. Luke, the guy who I was really texting, was a bit of a jerk, but considering he didn’t know what I looked like, he was quite nice overall. Still a bit creepy to find out he wasn’t Thranduil.”

Darcy looked mischievous,

“Are you saying you like him?”

Jane shrugged,

“I don’t think so. Even though he did apologize. It doesn’t matter. I’ve got Don to worry about.”

Darcy looked guilty all of a sudden, and Jane didn’t like it one bit.

“What?”

“I may have called him too.”

“What?”

“Said you’d met someone, and you were pretty interested in him.”

“WHAT?”

“Well it’s true! Now, maybe it was a bit premature, but let’s be honest Jane, you and Don have been on a simmer for the longest time. He needs to get laid, you need to get laid. But clearly not by each other. So I gave him my number, and we’ve sorta been texting while you were out.”

Jane glared at her best friend, and attempted to find a rational way to condemn her behavior.

But all she felt was relief.

One less thing to worry about.

“Okay.”

“And I think he could use a firm hand in a relationship, which you can’t give, not to mention--- wait a minute, okay? Aren’t you mad? I kinda stole your sexy lumberjack mountain man.”

Jane smiled, and looked relaxed, something which alarmed Darcy more than usual,

“I know. It’s okay. You have my blessing. At least now things won’t be quite as awkward at work. Or perhaps they’ll be more awkward. Who knows?”

As she walked away to her bedroom, she left Darcy staring after her, slack jawed and speechless for the first time in her life.

Darcy looked around desperately for a hidden camera, and waited for Jane to yell, “GOTCHA!” but nothing happened.

She did see Heimdall quickly sprint after Jane, and she could only assume it meant Jane was upending her laundry basket. He loved to sleep inside the mesh tunnel.

“Okay. What the hell.”

She slipped out her cellphone and answered the three new texts from Don, a slow smile blooming over her face.

***

“I don’t understand you sometimes. It boggles my mind how selfish and stupid you can be. Honestly Luke, why did you do this?”

Luke sighed, deftly avoiding his friends angry glare whilst browsing the fridge for leftovers, or even just a cold beer.

“It was just a bit of fun really. I hadn’t planned on you showing up and ruining everything. I also hadn’t planned on Jane being a stone cold fox, but there you go. You win. She’s yours, fair and square.”

Thranduil gave him a mock kick in the ankle as he walked by, determinedly heading for the living room.

“I don’t think so. The kiss she gave me said it all.”

Luke straightened up so fast he heard his back crack,

“She kissed you? You didn’t tell me that.”

Thranduil sounded defeated,

“She kissed me goodbye. She blew me off, and she had every right to do that.”

Luke shrugged,

“Yeah, no. That’s not true. I’m the one she should have kissed goodbye and blown off.”

Thranduil rolled his eyes,

“Wow. Real mature. How long did it take you to come up with that one?”

Luke smirked,

“Oh you know, five seconds. But seriously man, I think she probably just wants you to go after her. Call her, so she knows it’s you, and offer to take her somewhere nice. Better yet, offer to cook her dinner. Women love that. You’re a fantastic cook. I should know.”

Thranduil hated to admit it, but Luke was on to something.

“That’s not a bad idea. But you’d have to leave.”

Luke pouted, and slumped down on the couch next to his friend,

“But I like your food.”

“You’d be in the way dummy.”

“But I think she likes me. At least a little. I could make dessert, make it up to you two.”

Thranduil stared at his friend,

“Um, no. I don’t want you here.”

Luke blinked,

“Please?”

“No.”

“Aw come on. I’ll give you a foot massage, a back rub, whatever.”

Thranduil shook his head,

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

Luke shrugged,

“If you think it’s funny.”

“Why did you say you were going to pretend to be my lover with Jane?”

Luke chuckled,

“Finally he asks! I was wondering if you’d been listening.”

“Of course I was listening you dope.”

“Well I just thought, you know how you said Darcy hadn’t told her you were straight? I just thought it’d be funny to tease her.”

“You are such an asshole.”

“Nah. I prefer dick.”

“You would.”

“Oh man, pot, kettle.”

“Luke, dammit, will you shut up, I’m trying to think.”

“Thinking about me naked are you now? We’ve only been here a year, and all I can think about is how you won’t let me bring girls home. Is it because you’re jealous?”

Thranduil was seconds from throttling his friend when Luke cleared his throat,

“I got it.”

“What now?”

“Why don’t you invite Jane over, for a cooked dinner, with both of us?”

Thranduil shook his head,

“Uh no. A, she hates you, B, I don’t even know if she likes me anymore.”

Luke ran a hand through his dark curls, and winked at Thranduil, his green eyes sparkling with mischief,

“You’ll never know until you ask.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG GUYS. it's finally done.t his beassst of a story. is complete.  
> so i can finally be consistent about updating.  
> *apologizes profusely*

Thranduil hated admitting when he was wrong, especially to Luke, but when he opened the door to find Jane Foster, wearing a stunning dark blue dress and a shy smile, he decided he didn’t care.

She was holding a plate covered in foil, and when he moved aside, urging her to come in, she did so with timid steps.

“I was surprised you called.”

“I was surprised you accepted.”

Jane blushed,

“Well, I could hardly be so bitchy as to not give you a chance could I?”

Thranduil would have said he couldn’t have blamed her for cursing him and hanging up on him, but he didn’t.

Instead he tried to down play everything in case Luke said something stupid.

“If you want to leave at any time, or if you want Luke to go, just say the word.”

Jane’s brows furrowed and Thranduil tried to pretend he didn’t find it attractive when she looked confused,

“Why would I do that? This is a peace offering, and eating together is akin to a peace summit at the U.N.”

Jane gestured to the plate she held, and Thranduil jumped on the chance to change the subject,

“You shouldn’t have. What is it?”

Jane smiled, and Thranduil felt the tension in his shoulders ebb just slightly,

“Homemade brownies. Darcy helped me, since I’m rather cooking impaired. They contain no drugs of any sort, I promise.”

She finished with a giggle, and Thranduil started to reply, but a smooth voice startled them both,

“That’s no fun Jane. You shouldn’t have told us that. If I had had one, thinking it would take me away, you couldn’t have convinced me otherwise. Until now.”

Jane smiled coolly at Luke whose face still held a trace of a pout and shrugged,

“Forgive me for not trying to take advantage of you.”

Thranduil predicted the next words out of Luke’s mouth to be along the lines of ‘I wouldn’t mind if you took advantage of me.’ So he distracted them both with a gesture towards the kitchen,

“I think everything’s ready, and I hope you’re hungry Jane, I made roasted herb chicken and green bean casserole.”

Luke hummed in acknowledgement while Jane beamed at Thranduil,

“That sounds delicious. What are we drinking?”

Luke was all set to suggest a beer, but Thranduil kicked him when Jane wasn’t looking,

“I have a nice Chardonnay that I think will go nicely.”  
Jane looked impressed,

“Perfect.”

When the wine was poured, and the food served, the trio fell into a companionable silence. Jane was sitting at the head of the table, a seat which Thranduil had graciously offered her, so that he and Luke could sit across from each other and have equal chance to speak to her.

It also meant he could easily kick his friend if he said anything too outrageous.

Jane, for her part was somewhat surprised and flattered by the attention from the two men. Whatever she’d been expecting for her first real date with Thranduil, this hadn’t been it.

Luke didn’t miss the looks exchanged between his friend and their lovely guest, but he was surprised to find her watching him when he’d taken his tenth sip of wine.

He disliked the taste of it in general, but found he enjoyed the way Jane’s gaze fell to his mouth. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was becoming aroused by simply watching him drink.

He’d been told by a few women that he had a nice looking mouth and throat, but had brushed it off as idle talk. Now he was starting to wonder if they’d meant it. A compliment was a compliment, after all.

Thranduil offered Jane a second glass of wine, and Luke was startled to see she’d finished her first before half her food was gone.

He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

***

They’d all had about three glasses of wine, and suddenly conversation was flowing fast and furious.

Before they knew it, Thranduil had retrieved another bottle, this time red, and that had gone quickly. Not too long after, Luke had joked how they needed white to compliment the darkness of the brownies, and had gotten a third bottle. The brownies, oddly enough, remained untouched.

Jane was laughing at something Luke had said, and Thranduil was attempting to keep from snorting in response. Anything Luke said had to be taken with a grain of salt, unless one was drunk.

Both men had noticed how Jane’s face was perpetually flushed, most likely from the alcohol, and Luke could admit he’d not felt quite so giddy in ages. At least since college.

Thranduil was on the verge of suggesting dessert and coffee, but he’d noticed how the room had once again fallen silent.

Luke was staring at Jane, and the force of his gaze had caused her to start to fiddle with a strand of hair. By chance, she was twisting a lock of all gold, and Thranduil’s mouth opened before he could stop it,

“You’re so beautiful Jane.”

She looked startled, and her brown eyes flickered up to his, capturing him with the intensity of her look,

“Thank you.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He attempted to kick Luke from under the table, to get his attention, but swung wide and missed, catching a chair leg.

“Ow.”

Luke smirked,

“Something wrong?”

Thranduil grunted a no.

“Why are you two so nice? How are you still single?” Jane mused suddenly, and the men both looked taken aback.

Luke was about to think of a reply, but his friend beat him to it,

“I think it’s because everyone thinks we’re already together.”

Luke wrinkled his nose, and shook his head,

“That’s just you.”

“Shut up.”

Jane waved a hand through the air, but lazily, like chasing away a butterfly,

“’Snothing wrong with that. You’re both quite pretty you know?”

The slight slurring of her words indicated she’d had a bit too much to drink, and Luke exchanged a glance with Thranduil. They needed to be very careful with how they proceeded.

“Thank you very much. Coming from you, that means a lot.”

Jane giggled and leaned towards Luke,

“But you’re not welcome. You’re such a meanie. You don’t get any brownies. They’re all mine.”

Thranduil barked out a laugh, and reached out to steady her, his hand gently grasping her shoulder,

“I don’t think you should try to eat in this state.”

Jane frowned,

“M’sorry? What are you talking about?”

Luke tapped her on the nose, and she frowned at him, focusing carefully on his face,

“You’re drunk Jane Foster. I think we’d better get you home.”

She tried to smack his hand away, but she missed entirely,

“You go home.”

“I am home.”

“Oh dear. I think you’re right.”

She slumped forward and would have landed face first into the casserole, but luckily Thranduil had been rising to check the clock and was in the perfect position to catch her.

“I think we’d better move her.”

Luke snorted,

“You think? Where on earth should we put her? I can’t carry her to the car, and you sure as hell shouldn’t be driving.”

Thranduil nodded,

“I know that dumbfuck. Howabout your bedroom? We can sleep in my room, I’ve got a king remember?”

Luke grinned lazily,

“Finally you get me into bed with you. But only when I’m almost as sloshed as our little mouse.”

Thranduil was a bit too drunk to bother protesting a single word Luke said, and with his help, they both managed to lay Jane down gently on Luke’s bed, before retreating to the other bedroom.

“I don’t want to hear a word about this tomorrow.”

Luke smirked,

“Okay you got it.”

He was asleep the instant his head his the pillow, and Thranduil only had a few moments to consider what a mess they’d gotten into before he joined his friend in dreamland.


	9. Chapter 9

Luke awoke to find a mass of silvery blond hair spilling over his pillow, and some of it was even in his mouth.

“Bleh!” he spat it out, and sat bolt upright, looking around the room, and the bed he was in.

It wasn’t his room after all. He was in Thranduil’s room, and Thranduil’s bed!

He glanced down to see the man of the hour still asleep, drooling slightly on the pillow.

“Lovely.” Luke said sarcastically, but didn’t move. Now that his mind was returning to him, his head was beginning to ache.

As if he’d been punched, but he couldn’t recall saying anything completely outrageous.

Ah, no. They’d simply gotten drunk.

Suddenly he wondered if Jane had gone off and run away as soon as she’d come to.

He hoped not.

He rather wanted to see what she looked like in the morning.

Then he realized he’d need Thranduil to get up and make breakfast.

But it hurt too much too move.

He winced at the fact he was still wearing his nice pants and shirt, covered with wrinkles thanks to his single-mindedness the night before.

At least they weren’t naked. Although Luke was starting to think he wouldn’t really care about that. For all the joking and teasing, he knew he’d never been as close to anyone like he was with Thranduil. Frankly, if Jane had suggested Truth or Dare the night before he’d have been game for anything.

He even considered waking his friend up with a kiss, just for kicks, but felt him start to shift beside him before he could follow through.

Maybe it was just the residual white wine making him think insane thoughts.

Thranduil mumbled into his pillow,

“Whattimeissit?”

Luke chuckled, and then winced again, trying to talk hurt his head too.

“It’s late. Want to get up and get me some aspirin? Like a good friend?”

“Go fuck yourself like a good friend more like.”

Luke sighed,

“If you insist…”

Thranduil reached out blindly and smacked his friend, who groaned,

“Enough with the hitting. God. You kicked me three times last night, and god knows how many more times after we finished the bottle.”

“Where’s Jane?”

“How should I know? Last I remember we dropped her off in my room.”

Luke suddenly blanched, he was recalling just how much stuff he had that could be discovered and used against him in there.

“Be right back!” He muttered, and began to climb out of bed, ignoring the throbbing pain in his forehead.

He didn’t get very far.

Thranduil’s hand shot out and grabbed his friend’s arm.

“Wait for me.”

***

Jane came back to the land of the living slowly, and painfully. If the jackhammer that was pounding away at her head was any indication, she’d drank her wine much too fast, and not eaten nearly enough at dinner.

She was just hoping that there were some brownies left over. Nothing beat chocolate and coffee for breakfast.

Then she remembered where she was, and her eyes snapped open.

Dark green and gold walls greeted her, and lots of movie posters covered said walls.

She smiled at the images, and it grew when she noticed the high tech desk and computer set up across the room and to her left.

‘That’s right,’ she recalled, ‘Luke’s the computer whiz.’

She barely had time to take in the rest of the room when a soft knock sounded on the bedroom door.

“Come in.” she called, frowning at how quiet and scratchy her voice was.

Two heads peeked in, and she almost laughed. They looked so cautious.

“Hi there.”

Thranduil stepped inside first, and looked rather stricken,

“Did you sleep well?”

He asked, and she nodded, while Luke edged past his friend and moved directly to sit on the bed beside her. She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but made no move to get away.

“I’m really sorry about this. My room, you having to stay over because no one could take you home, all of it.”

Jane took his hand in hers, and pulled it to cup her cheek, a gesture which he gladly went along with,

“It’s perfectly alright. I had a great time last night. And if you guys didn’t think it was too horrible, I’d like to do it again.”

“Oh Jane, you are too kind.”

“You’re too much for us.”

Jane blinked at them,

“I hope not.”

She pulled on Luke’s hand and shifted closer until she was practically sitting in his lap, and their faces were millimeters apart,

“I’d like to think you could both handle me easily enough.”

Relishing the shocked expression on their faces for only a moment, Jane leaned forward, her boldness surprising to even herself, and kissed Luke.

He sat still under her for only a moment before coming to life, both arms slipping around her, drawing her closer until they both had to pull back to catch their breath.

Thranduil would have left long ago, but he was starting to realize just what Jane had said.

Jane looked rather dizzy, but she climbed down from where Luke still sat, and stepped up in front of Thranduil.

She reached out to thread a few long strands of platinum between her fingers, and she gave him an impish smile,

“Do I get a good morning from you too?”

Thranduil only considered a verbal reply for an instant before sweeping her into his arms and capturing her lips with his.

Jane eagerly wrapped herself around him, legs coming up to encircle his waist, and her own arms going around his neck.

Luke pretended not to watch them for an instant, before shamelessly ogling the embracing pair.

If they didn’t stop soon, Jane would be breakfast, and the brownies would go to waste.

He decided to clear his throat, and fought the mad urge to laugh when they both jumped, and Jane basically slid back down to the floor.

“Shall we break our fast?” Luke asked with a wink, and they both nodded, looking a bit sheepish.

He wasn’t one to criticize; he knew firsthand how delicious Jane’s kisses could be.

He almost couldn’t wait to kiss her again.


	10. Chapter 10

Jane was quite reluctant to leave Thranduil and Loki’s apartment, but she couldn’t hide away from her responsibilities forever.

She knew she needed to face Don, and at least try to explain things, no matter how much Darcy insisted she’d softened the blow.

A gentle fist lifted to knock on the lab door, and she barely waited a minute before walking in, to find Don as always, bent over a microscope, examining a chart, things she once admired his focus on, now she knew to be simple distractions.

“Hey there.”

He didn’t even look up,

“Hello Jane. How have you been?”

Jane might have laughed at the ridiculously casual statement and inquiry, it had only been three days since they’d last seen one another, much less spoken over the phone.

“Pretty well I think.”

“Darcy told me you met someone. What’s he like?”

Jane’s eyebrows rose in surprise, getting right to the point then,

“He’s nice. It’s really Darcy’s fault,” She laughed nervously, and hoped he wouldn’t think she was making an excuse, for it sounded like one, even in her mind, “But enough about me. How are things looking? Will I have anything exciting to talk about in class this afternoon?”

Don choked out a laugh,

“I think you’ll always have something for class. Better to be a physicist than a biologist, I always say.”

Jane smiled despite the heavy mood,

“You never say that.” She walked over and tried to pretend she was interested in what he was doing, but all she could think about was how different their interaction was compared to a few days previous. She’d been utterly prepared to let him do anything to her on this countertop, just for making her feel so desired, even if it had been mostly because of her new look.

Now she could only feel a pang of regret for having given in to that momentary flight of fancy.

When he turned away from his work and looked right at her, she could see the hurt in his eyes. She knew she’d wronged him, and she needed to apologize. But the words had died in her mouth. She looked away from him, attempting to distract herself with the many things littered about the room, but then he sighed, and her eyes snapped back to his.

“Jane, I only ever wanted you to be happy. I know I wasn’t always as ah, affectionate with you as you deserved, but-?”

Jane shushed him with a hand to his chest, and she simply patted the firm muscles she could feel through his labcoat.

“It’s alright. You never did anything I didn’t want. I should have been clearer from the start. Forgive me for running away from us, from our problems.”

She pleaded with him silently, her brown eyes wide and, she hoped, honest.

Don’s face looked as if he was still working on believing what he was seeing, but then he nodded, bringing a hand up to clasp hers underneath.

  
“Of course I do. I hope you find what you’re looking for with this new guy.”

Jane felt her eyes sting,

“Oh Don, you’re much too good for me.”

He shrugged, and she laughed,

“Don’t bother with false modesty. And if Darcy does anything crazy, let me know, and I promise I’ll scold her.”

Don grinned suddenly,

“You promise?”

Jane nodded, and crossed her heart with her free hand, noting that Don was still keeping her other hostage.

“Definitely. Well, I better leave you to it, and get to my class.”

Though she loved being early, it was a hollow excuse to escape, but he let her go, and only stopped her to plant a kiss on her hand before completely relinquishing it.

“Good luck to you Jane.”

Despite her best efforts, Jane blushed, and could only wish him the same.

***

‘I’m not going to act like a lovesick puppy.’ Thranduil kept repeating to himself in his mind, as he went through the day’s clients, and pretended to ignore the ones who might have heard him when he spoke aloud just a few times.

Jane was hard at work, just as he was. There was no need to bother her with a text.

He’d nearly cracked and was seconds from sending off a simple ‘Hello’ when his phone chirped and Luke texted him first.

He fought the urge to roll his eyes,

_“Do you think tonight would be too soon to see her again?”_

“ **Uh yeah. What do you want to do, scare her away?”**

Thranduil neglected to mention just how close he’d come to doing that single-handedly. But what Luke didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

“ _Dude. She wants_ both _of us, I doubt ‘scary’ is in her vocabulary.”_

Thranduil smiled at that.

“ **You could be on to something. But I think we ought to wait until we both have a day off or something…”**

Luke clearly caught the gist of that line of thinking and sent back an eager agreement.

When the client coughed at him rather un-subtly, he put his phone away, and apologized.

He’d never been quite so depressed it was Monday.


	11. Chapter 11

As the weekend finally rolled around, Jane found herself feeling rather giddy, and Darcy noticed.

Jane had hoped to get dressed and get away before getting the third degree, but she failed.

“What’s up with you? You were out late the other night, did you and Randy do the nasty?”

Jane sighed,

“No Darce. Of course not. If and when we do anything, it’s going to be the opposite of nasty. If that’s what you want to call what you and Don get up to, fine with me. But please try to-?”

She broke off when Darcy burst out laughing, and attempted to keep her face neutral.

“You should talk! You dirty minx. I _know._ Thranduil dropped a few hints accidentally, and then I forced the whole thing out of him. He’s been on pins and needles all week. I wouldn’t be surprised if they both had,” At that, Darcy gave a deeply suggestive hand gesture, and Jane shivered, whether from annoyance at the idea, or a bit of curiosity at how true it could be, “To keep themselves in check until you could go back. They like you. And trust me when I say, Thranduil doesn’t share lightly. He wouldn’t even let me borrow his top-of-the-line curler when I asked nicely.”

Jane blushed, and hurried through her dinner preparations, which mostly consisted of placing her tv dinner into the microwave and furiously punching in the time.

Darcy snickered,

“You are so lucky. If I could find another guy who Don liked, I’d go for it myself. But you, you have the best of both worlds. If Luke is anywhere near as attractive as I think he is,” When Jane made no indication to confirm or deny, she continued, “Then I’d say you’re about to be the center of a delicious sandwich.”

Jane’s mouth fell open and she couldn’t find a single thing to protest or defend herself with.

“Don’t bother thanking me or anything…” Darcy continued, and Jane looked up to find her examining her nails in a very concentrated manner. The microwave beeped, distracting them both, but Jane ignored it in favor of giving her friend a quick hug, which Darcy returned eagerly.

“I’m proud of you, you know. Don texted me after you left. Said you must have been an angel sent to show him what he could be. Stupid deep shit like that. Then I told him that I was an angel too, just a bit of a fallen one.”

She winked, and Jane stifled a laugh.

That was about the most accurate description she’d ever heard. Although, it was kind of sweet how Don wasn’t even bothering to be mad. Good thing he had Darcy to mediate between them. She’d keep a cool head if he did ever go off the handle.

“So what’s on tonight?”

Darcy shrugged,

“Not sure. But you might want to go through your underwear drawer when you finish eating. You’ll need something extra cute to wear. That hair isn’t going to make your boobs look sexy.”

Jane rolled her eyes and ignored her.

“I think I’ll figure that sort of thing out myself, thanks.”

***

“Could you stop it?”

Thranduil snapped from where he was standing in the kitchen, carefully stirring the steaming hot mashed potatoes on the stove.

Luke was currently pacing a wide arc around the small living room and back, and it was beginning to drive his roommate insane.

“I can’t help it! I’m not sure what to do.”

“About what?”

“This thing, _us._ Tonight. This is the kinda thing they always tell you about, and brag about in college, but when it’s time, what the hell am I supposed to do?”

Thranduil sighed, his patience already paper thin,

“Did you follow my list?”

A couple days ago, after confirming Jane would be coming over again, this time with the universally acknowledged plan of _IT,_ Thranduil had drafted a small shopping list of essentials. The truth was he had been half afraid Luke would laugh in his face at the obvious, ‘Condoms etc’ but he didn’t.

Even with the list, they were both worried Jane would realize what sort of rash decision she was making, and then pick only one of them.

Thranduil was confident it would be him, and Luke would be quick to agree.

Not that he would ever admit it.

When the doorbell rang, they both jumped.

“You get it.”

“I’m busy, _you_ get it.”

“Coward.”

“Dick.”

Luke smirked,

“You know it.”

Thranduil rolled his eyes, and waved the spatula at the front door, where the bell sounded again.

Luke raised his hands in surrender and moved to comply.

He pulled the door open to find Jane Foster, almost ten steps away from the door.

“Uh, hi. Did you forget to lock your car?”

She licked her lips, and didn’t quite meet his questioning stare,

“Um. Should I worry about that? Is this a bad neighborhood?”

The teasing half smile she gave him didn’t reach her eyes.

Luke felt himself relax a bit, she was just as nervous and he and Thranduil.

“Nah. I’m just playing along with you, while you decide if you’re going to stay or run for it.”

Jane laughed nervously,

“Am I that obvious?”

Luke shook his head,

“You’re just easy to read. It’s all in your eyes.”

He stepped outside the apartment, to move closer to her, emboldened when she didn’t retreat, he stretched out a hand, brushing his fingers against her cheek,

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Jane blinked twice, and nodded, licking her lips again, as her eyes darted down to look at his mouth, before returning to meet his steady gaze,

“Okay.”

She walked towards him and closed the distance between them, stepping up into the doorway to gain the height advantage, and then she leaned in to kiss him.

His other hand rose to cup her cheek and he held her close long enough to feel her relax under his touch, until they were interrupted by Thranduil’s voice.

“Having trouble finding the door are we?”

His voice got closer, and they broke apart suddenly, chests heaving, and a shy smile crept over Jane’s face, even as Luke grinned unashamedly.

“Nah. There was an interesting drive by.”

“Well come in, the food’s getting cold.”

Thranduil ignored the feigned protests of his roommate and guest and slammed the door shut.


	12. Chapter 12

“So what have you made for us this time?”

Jane looked expectantly at Thranduil, and bit back a smile when she saw his face light up, whether from her inquiry or simply from having her there. She liked to pretend it was the latter.

He tucked a stray strand of platinum hair behind his ears before explaining the simple menu. A fresh green tossed salad, and garlic mashed potatoes, with roasted lamb chops for the main dish.

Luke made the usual jokes about garlic breath and Jane fought the urge to giggle.

If they all had garlic breath, it wouldn’t really matter.

Before Thranduil pulled out the wine, Jane held up her hand, as if in a classroom, and when Luke shot her a grin, she lowered it.

“If I may, I think we should stick to water, or tea. I think I’d like my wits about me tonight.”

Her confident expression faded into a nervous laugh when the men didn’t immediately agree. But Thranduil started nodding just moments before Luke shrugged and replied,

“Sounds like a good idea to me.”

During dinner, there were less of the longing looks and secretly thrilling brushes of fingers while passing around food, and more nervous coughs and abruptly stopped sentences.

Eventually, Luke became impatient and burst out,

“Jane do you really want both of us? Atthesametime?”

The last bit was more of a mumbled garble, and Jane’s eyes went wide,

“Sorry?”

Luke attempted to clear his throat by taking a large gulp of water, but only ended up getting a drop down the wrong pipe, and subsequently began to cough.

Thranduil swallowed and tried to smile,

“I think what my un-eloquent friend is asking, is, where do you see this going?”

At ‘This,’ he gestured around the table, including the still coughing Luke.

Jane felt her cheeks burn, and she shrugged,

“Uh-h-h…”  
She’d thought about it, barely talked about it with Darcy, but in the end she still wasn’t sure. The most she knew about herself was the fact she liked giving and receiving oral. Beyond that was uncharted territory. Trying to please two guys at the same time, or some form thereof? Completely beyond her.

She toyed with a stray lock of still perfectly colored hair, and avoided both of them.

Only the screeching of chair legs against wooden flooring brought her out of her thoughts and it was just Thranduil moving to come kneel by her chair, forcing her to look at him.

“Jane, if this is too much, any of this, just say it. You can go home, and we won’t hold it against you. If you want more time to think about it, or if you just want it to be a one off thing, its fine. If you’d just like to see one of us, I think the other could understand.” At this he sent a glare towards Luke, who merely stuck out his tongue in acknowledgement.

Jane smiled,

“When on earth did you guys become such softies?”

Luke coughed, this time merely for emphasis,

“When Darcy threatened to make women of us both if we fucked this up.”

Thranduil sighed, exasperated, but Jane was too busy gaping at him in shock. She’d had no idea that Darcy had gotten so involved as to threaten them.

“Well then…”

She joked, and she was relieved to hear them both chuckle.

“I’m really not sure, how does one go about starting a threesome?”

Luke smirked,

“That’s cute. I think it usually involves the same sort of moves that a twosome does. Less clothing and comfy flat surfaces. Which right now, we have neither of.”

Jane chewed on her bottom lip nervously, and Thranduil, being the closest, reached up to stroke her cheek, and she looked at him, almost scared at the tenderness she saw in his eyes.

Across the table from them, Luke was watching, and he couldn’t deny that he liked what he saw. He and Thranduil had never fought over a girl, for they’d never been interested in the same type, but now, with Jane, he decided he might be able to do the impossible.

She was a unique creature.

“I guess I could do the dishes, let you two get comfortable…”

Thranduil looked away from Jane and rolled his eyes at his roommate,

“As if you would. Just put them in the sink, I’ll do them later.”

Luke pursed his lips,

“If you’re su-u-u-re…” He spoke in a sing-song tone, and Thranduil would have thrown his napkin at him to shut him up, if Jane hadn’t been present.

He ignored Luke, choosing the high road instead. He held out his hand, which Jane took, and he led her off to his bedroom.

Luke of course followed momentarily, not without a few mumbled threats.

***

Jane, for her part, was exceedingly proud of herself. She’d managed not to squeal or squeak or emit any noises that might be mistaken for a chipmunk. She could feel her heartbeat thundering in her chest, and she was almost worried Thranduil could feel it through their interlocked hands and Luke in the air.

But no, it was mostly her imagination.

Though they’d been through a considerable amount, and for god’s sake she’d already kissed them both, while the other had been standing right there! As Darcy put it, ‘doing the nasty’ wasn’t really much of a step up.

Suddenly she wished she’d accepted a glass or two of wine, perhaps it might have settled her nerves.

The same thought was occurring to Thranduil, who paused in the threshold of his bedroom door, and looked back at her, lifting his hand, along with hers, up to his mouth, so that he placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

“Still okay?”

Jane nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Luke, seeming to have finally grasped the fact of what they were to do, chose also to remain silent.

He followed them inside, and carefully shut the door.

The soft thud as the latch clicked in place seemed to be the final drop holding back the dam inside Jane. She dropped Thranduil’s hand only to step into his open arms, and let him pull her close and kiss her breathless.

Her eyes fell shut and she let him take Thranduil take his time probing her lips with his tongue, and fighting the urge to laugh when he finally gained entrance to her mouth, teasing her tongue into a strange sort of dance.

She couldn’t see Luke, and she didn’t really mind, until she felt him come up behind her, and she jumped under Thranduil’s arms when she felt a second pair of hands touching her waist. He slipped his fingers underneath her shirt, and she shivered as his cooled hands grazed over her bare skin.

Mischievous lips whispered into her ear,

“May I?”

Jane found herself nodding slightly; not wanting to relinquish Thranduil’s mouth for a breath of air just yet, and Luke began to lift off her shirt.

Eventually she did break the kiss, and stepped back just enough to let Luke pull off the offending garment, and toss it aside.

She looked up at Thranduil with hooded eyes, and was secretly thrilled at his expression when he saw her black lace bra. She silently thanked Darcy for bullying her into wearing something outside of her comfort zone, and daringly cocked a brow at him, before running her hands over his chest, and flicking at the buttons of his shirt.

“I think you’re overdressed.”

She murmured, and punctuated the suggestive phrase with a wink, which normally would have amused him, but instead made his breath catch in his throat.

Behind her, Luke was already taking off most of his own clothing, but Thranduil rather liked the idea of Jane undressing him.

“I’m all yours.”

Jane hummed in approval, and began to remove his shirt, and when she’d gotten halfway through the buttons, a second pair of hands moved over hers, and she nearly jumped at the feel of a bare chest against her back.

“You’re going too slow. Minx, I bet you want us to die from foreplay.”

Luke whispered in her ear, causing her to shiver, even as his hands manipulated hers to rip off Thranduil’s shirt.

They both missed his quiet protest, and Jane could only appreciate his finally bared skin.

She resumed her ministrations on Thranduil’s now uncovered chest, and reached up to pull him down for another kiss.

Even before their lips touched, she felt another mouth at her throat, and she hummed into Thranduil’s mouth as she felt Luke suck on her skin, and gently bite it.

Jane was glad the fall weather was being unpredictable, and thankful she owned so many scarves.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to earn the rating ;)

They wanted to make sure Jane was comfortable, more than ready before taking the next step. When she melted under Luke’s mouth, he knew it was time.

He nearly jumped when he felt hands on his hips, tugging off his jeans, which he didn’t remember unbuttoning, and looked over to see it was Thranduil.

A long finger rose to press to his lips, Thranduil shook his head and nodded at Jane, he didn’t wish to disturb her or Luke, but he was just as eager to get the show on the road.

He reluctantly parted from Jane’s neck, and smirked at the slowly blossoming pink mark he could see even in the dim light on her skin, and moved away just enough to kick away his pants.

He’d gone commando, and was suddenly hoping Jane wouldn’t be shocked by that.

He ignored Thranduil’s eye roll in response and set to work on Jane’s pants. Luckily it was a surprisingly similar button-zipper clasp as his, and they were quickly gone, revealing sexy black and green lace panties.

Luke smirked at her, and Jane tried to hide the blush heating her cheeks.

“You are such a minx! I would never have guessed you were hiding these. They match your bra quite nicely. Though I think they’d both look much better on the floor.”

Jane barely had time to giggle nervously at the compliment, and hadn’t even formed the words to thank him when she felt Thranduil undo her bra and do just that.

It was gone before she could blink, and then his hands were teasing and dancing over her bare ribs, slipping down to move past the low waistband of the panties and underneath, finding her wet core.

Jane gasped and bucked against his hand without thinking, and Luke groaned aloud. She looked much too delicious like this, coupled with the fact she was gently stroking him, and less determinedly now that she was distracted, he wasn’t sure how long he could last.

Thranduil shifted his fingers and felt her writhing against him. In a split second he’d looked up to meet Luke’s gaze and the entire mood had shifted. Luke leaned forward without thinking and reached up, his fingers threading through Thranduils hair, and pulling him in for a kiss.

It surprised Jane more than anyone, and she hummed in contentment as she watched them kissing. Thranduil’s hand never ceased its movements, and as it sped up, she reached down to guide him and steady him.

Luke pulled away, and grinned when he saw Jane watching them with a dreamy look on her face.

“You like that kitten?”

Jane nodded slowly, and her mind registered his term of endearment somewhere reserved for the rare times when she was being rendered incoherent with pleasure.

“I need you inside me, pretty soon.”

Luke nearly growled,

“It’d be my pleasure.”

He reached down to smack Thranduil’s hand away, and promptly tore off Jane’s soaked panties.

They went to join the rest of the scattered clothing.

He pulled her into his arms, and maneuvered her into his lap, bringing her aching warm clit just inches from his hard erection.

Thranduil wasn’t about to argue, he was still dumbstruck. But he put his mouth and hands to good use as Luke thrust into Jane with one swift movement.

Jane gasped again at the sensation, and tried to keep her eyes open, but failed miserably. She could feel Luke inside her, and every clench of her muscles around him was nearly against her will. She was just so ready, she needed to come. If he didn’t move faster, she felt as if she might spontaneously combust. It didn’t matter how far outside the realm of possibility that was.

Thranduil’s lips traced across her shoulders and moved up to nibble on her ear lobe, eliciting a breathy sigh from her own mouth.

He wanted to kiss her, he didn’t care that Luke was currently working up a sweat, and he was probably not going to get a chance to do the same, as long as he could have her in his arms, it didn’t matter.

He wasn’t planning to be completely left out.

Thranduil shifted on the mattress and cupped Jane’s head with his left hand, bringing her in for a kiss, and inadvertently capturing one of her gasps, while his other hand reached down between the two.

Jane’s eyes flew open and then closed again rapidly when she realized it wasn’t Luke kissing her, and she reached out blindly to take Thranduil’s hand, but found something else instead.

He groaned into her mouth, and she would have smiled if Luke hadn’t suddenly pulled out and back.

Jane mewled in disappointment and Thranduil looked over at his friend in surprise.

“She’s yours. I’m just a guest here. I think you should be the one to make her come first.”

The cheeky grin on his face took away from the surprisingly kind thought, and Thranduil would have shrugged if Jane hadn’t eagerly pounced on him.

She was wound so tight, she was about ready to just get herself off if neither of the men would care to help. Before he knew it, Jane’s tight heat was enveloping Thranduil’s hard length, and he could no longer find anything to be jealous of.

He turned them both so that he was thrusting into her against the mattress, and not trying to hold them up.

That tried and true position quickly had them both climaxing within a few seconds of each other, while Luke finished himself off, with a helping hand from Jane.

Thranduil held Jane tightly as he felt her ride out the aftershocks from her orgasm. Then and only then did he move away and collapse beside her.

Luke was quick to snuggle close to Jane, nuzzling his face against her shoulder blade and the nape of her neck, planting a triumphant kiss on the now unmistakable hickey he’d created.

“You are such a beautiful creature Jane.”

She might have blushed at his words, but after what she’d just done, how could she?

She was content with staring into Thranduil’s eyes until she started to feel the tendrils of exhaustion claiming her mind.

“Goodnight Jane.”

“’Night guys.” She whispered to them, and that was the last thing they heard before waking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yes, it's a biiiit unrealistic.  
> but hey  
> escapest  
> :P  
> This was only about my 4th time writing a threesome, so i hope i did it justice.  
> but the truth is, i may never know how wonderful it could be with three heh.


	14. Chapter 14

When Jane came to the next morning, everything felt a bit hazy. It wasn’t like the last time she woke up in someone else’s bed. This time she wasn’t alone, not by a long shot.

She hadn’t had too much to drink.

She felt deliciously sore in many places, including a very tender spot on the side of her neck, and she would have blushed if she’d had the energy. As it was, it took quite an effort simply to open her eyes, and shift around in the bed.

She bumped into a pair of limbs and legs as she turned over. She smiled slowly and let her hand drift across the bare skin belonging to a still asleep Thranduil. His long hair was spread across the pillows above her and some of it was resting on her shoulder.

“Good morning.” She whispered, quietly as possible, while planting a kiss beside his mouth.

His tongue slipped out to wet his lips, before they shifted into a smile.

“Good morning Jane. Sleep okay?”

Jane nearly purred in reply, and he took that as a ‘yes.’

It wasn’t until she felt a hand slipping around her waist, and pulling her away from Thranduil and flush to another body that she remembered the entirety of the night.

A mouth tickled near her ear, and teeth grazed over the lobe before a familiar voice filled her ears,

“Sleep well kitten?”

Jane did blush at that, for she was fast becoming awake, and the hard body she was currently being pressed into wasn’t unwanted in the least. The memories of being called that the previous night were all too present in her mind’s eye. She shifted under Luke’s arm, and she felt him stiffen as her naked back brushed against his morning welcome.

“Yes, I think so. You two wore me out.”

“We did endeavor to try.”

Luke replied cheekily, and Thranduil rolled his eyes, before reaching across Jane to smack his friend, lightly though.

His hand pulled back and brushed over Jane’s cheek, before he leaned closer and kissed her, making sure to show Luke he wasn’t slacking, even if he wasn’t being aggressive about how much he enjoyed having her in his bed.

Or was it Luke’s bed?

He couldn’t remember, nor did he care.

“Is this how you normally wake up?” Jane asked, despite herself. She knew it was completely horrible to tease them, but seeing how Thranduil became indignant while Luke only smirked with an air of mystery had been so amusing the night before.

Luke shrugged, and she felt the movement, still close enough to his body that every word he spoke vibrated through her.

“I had preferred to wake up with you still in my arms. I suppose unconsciously you went for the hot blonde.” He winked at Thranduil, before continuing, “Does it turn you on to imagine us like this?”

Jane licked her lips slowly, and she was very aware that both men followed the movement with open eyes,

“Maybe.”

The short kiss the two men had shared the night before had her mind spinning with the possibilities.

“You are unimaginably sexy. Do you know that?” Thranduil groaned in frustration, lifting his leg to hook over both of Jane’s, and succeeding in pulling her over to him, out of Luke’s grasp.

Jane giggled, despite herself.

“I might have an idea, now that I’ve met you two.”

Luke sighed, miffed only slightly, but he got his revenge by starting to kiss across Jane’s collarbone, pausing once in a while to pinch just slightly with his teeth, before soothing the bites with his lips.

“You know I’m not breakfast right?”

Jane mumbled, and she felt the bed shake with Luke’s silent laughter.

“Agree to disagree?”

Thranduil however did agree with her. He reluctantly pulled away, fixing a glare on the green glowing clock on the bedside table.

“Jane’s right. She’s not what you really crave. I bet you’d both enjoy one of my mean omelets.”

Jane oo-ed and aw-ed and Luke pouted, but he knew his friend was right.

He planted one final kiss on Jane’s parted lips, stealing her breath away, before jumping out of bed.

“Last one to the kitchen is a rotten egg!”

He shouted, already halfway down the hall, unconcerned with modesty.

Thranduil looked over at Jane, who suddenly felt shy. Never had she dreamt her first time with him wouldn’t be _alone_ with him.

That moment was their first time alone in all the time she’d seen him.

“Well…”

He started, and faltered when he looked at her, really looked at her, naked and still curled amongst the sheets.

“Oh Jane.”

Her eyes widened, and she worried that her eye makeup had mussed, and she must certainly looked like a drowned rat.

“What is it?”

She lifted a hand to her face, attempting to erase any potential smudges, but he simply stayed her hand, pulling it to his lips, and giving her a heart stopping look as he kissed her open palm.

“Jane, you’re so beautiful.”

She managed a wobbly smile, even as her heart was flip-flopping inside her chest,

“I think you said that before.”

“I meant it. I am so grateful for the gift you gave me. Us.” He nodded towards the kitchen, where they could hear Luke fumbling about, and most likely trying to start some coffee.

“He’ll burn down the place if I don’t go stop him.”

Jane bit back a laugh, before nodding.

“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re pretty amazing too. Not bad at that.” She looked meaningfully at where he still held her hand close to his mouth, and then further down, where the bed covers blocked her view of his impressive naked torso.

Thranduil shrugged,

“I can’t say I learned from observing now can I?”

Jane flushed, and shook her head,

“I think if anyone’s the teacher, it’s you. Not Luke.”

They exchanged another heated glance, before they heard the man of the hour shout back to them,

“What’s that you’re saying about me? And what’s taking you two so long? Not starting round two without me are you? Unfair!”

Thranduil shook his head, and would have rolled his eyes, but his head was hurting a bit too much for the extra effort,

“Shut up and put the coffee pot down. I’ll be right out!”

Jane watched him leave, unashamedly staring at his bare backside before he’d slipped his sage green boxers back on, and sighing wistfully once he’d left her sight.

‘What on earth have I gotten myself into?’ she mused aloud, before rising to follow them, stopping only to snag Thranduil’s button up dress shirt, pulling it on and fastening only the first three buttons.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mini-interlude with Darcy/Thor, then back to our Big Three!

Darcy patted the soft comforter covered mattress and gave a come-hither glance. The man who’d barely just left her side to open a window, and attempt to let in a cool breeze chuckled.

“You are truly a fallen angel. Only the fallen can be insatiable.”

Darcy pursed her lips and pretended to consider the line,

“Is that a good thing or a great thing?”

Moving out of the dim moonlight and back to her side, Don smiled,

“I think you know the answer to that.”

He leaned in to steal another kiss from her and Darcy giggled as she felt his stubble tickling her chin.

“Let’s just try it again, for science. Maybe it’ll be better.”

Don cocked a blond brow at her,

“Are you saying it wasn’t very good?”

Darcy shrugged, and the sheet covering her shifted down to her waist. She bit back a laugh as she saw Don’s eyes drop to her chest,

“Always room for improvement. You’re a scientist man, shouldn’t you know this?”

Don swallowed,

“I’m a biologist. Not much room for improvement there I’m afraid. Come to the lab sometime and I’ll show you exactly what I do. Then again, don’t. You probably won’t find me nearly as attractive.”

Darcy ran her hands over his chest muscles and slowly climbed on top of him, mimicking Heimdall’s purring,

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

He grinned at her, and got his revenge by reaching up to squeeze her ass. She yelped in mild annoyance, but when his hands drifted around to her front the exclamation turned into a sigh.

“Did you have another smart ass comment to make?” Don whispered into her ear, and had he been any other man, would have doubtlessly felt smug. Instead he merely felt awed that he could turn the great babble machine Darcy Lewis into a speechless curvy minx.

“Mmm-maybe.” She mumbled, before deciding against it.

“Nope. You just keep up the good work there Donald.”

Don frowned, and moved his hands away,

“You know I hate my full name. You’ve seen my name tag. It’s just Don. Or Professor if I’m in a bad mood.”

Darcy smirked, speech regained with the regretful removal of his hands,

“Professor? Are you in a bad mood now? Cause I sure as hell am.”

Don nodded, and Darcy purred again, slipping her smaller hands over his, and attempting to force them back into position,

“Well then, _Professor_ , I’m ready for my physical.”

Don snorted,

“That line doesn’t sound right. I’m not a doctor.”

Darcy shrugged,

“Do you think I really care? Get moving buster.”

“Yes, Miss Lewis.”

The outraged and slightly mocking gasp Darcy had been about to make vanished when Don kissed her again, and she focused on breathing through her nose. He really was an astonishing kisser when he put his mind to it.

***

After pushing Luke out of the way and forcing him to sit down at the kitchen table, to _watch and learn_ , Thranduil could finally start making their actual breakfast.

He was glad they all seemed to agree with his suggestion of omelets, as they were universally good and could be easily personalized.

“Jane, what do you like with your eggs?”

He looked up to see her walking into the kitchen, only wearing his discarded dress shirt from the night before, and suddenly cursed the still brewing coffee. He needed a strong mug to keep from ditching the entire idea of breakfast and not simply escorting her back to the bedroom.

Luke, slouched in his chair at the table, caught the heated looks exchanged by the two, and smirked to himself.

He’d never have thought his roommate could be this enamored with a girl.

Jane, for her part, simply blushed and moved to check on the coffee, before answering in a hushed voice,

“Just cheese for me thanks.”

Thranduil nodded wordlessly, and turned back to the stove, flipping the cooking eggs just seconds before they might have been labeled ‘scorched.’

“So, what’s a man got to do to get a cup of joe around here?”

Luke piped up innocently, and Jane smiled warmly at him behind Thranduil’s back,

“Don’t antagonize the cook for one. Secondly, ask nicely and I’ll pour you some, Luke.”

Luke winked at her and mouthed his thanks, before accepting the aforementioned joe, and quickly downing half of it with one gulp.

He didn’t seem to mind the heat, or perhaps he was accustomed to drinking fiery hot drinks.

“What is it that you do Luke?”

Jane sat down across from him at the table, suddenly aware of how little she knew about the handsome dark haired counterpart to Thranduil.

Luke shrugged,

“I usually work with computers. I fix security things, install better security things, and scrub infected hard drives. You might call me a wizard.” He winked at her again, and the gleam in his eyes reminded her that he wasn’t only a wizard with technology.

Thranduil laughed,

“Or you might just be a massive nerd.”

Luke rolled his eyes,

“And you’re better how? Hairdressing isn’t exactly a super masculine profession.”

Jane lifted her hands,

“Boys boys. Please. Neither of you is better than the other. You both do what you love. I think that’s wonderful. It’s much too early for raised voices.”

Thranduil nodded, and even Luke looked compliant,

“Sorry. I just love to tease him, you know?”

Jane nodded,

“I know. But if you could do it when I’m not around to mediate, that might work out better for you both.”

She blinked a couple times, surprised at her own suggestion, and she could see the comprehension dawning on Luke’s face.

It turned into a sly grin, and he kept silent, merely nodding in return.

By the time Thranduil had finished cooking their omelet’s, Jane had been through two cups of coffee, and Luke had downed three.

“Dammit Luke.”

The coffee pot was barely yielding a half mug for him, and he only refrained from slapping his roommate upside the head because Jane was watching.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conflict!

Jane sighed, before glancing at the clock,

“Well guys, this is where I must leave you.”

Twin groans echoed around the kitchen, and Luke pouted,

“Couldn’t you stay a bit longer? Don’t you want to get cleaned up?”

Jane knew that if she stayed, she might not leave before the evening. She had tons of work to do for class Monday, and though Luke was right, a shower might just lead to more sex.

Not that she hadn’t enjoyed herself immensely. But she needed to get her head back on straight, and being around the two men would not make that an easy feat.

“I wish I could. I’m sorry.”

Thranduil shook his head, before standing and beginning to clear away the trio’s dishes,

“It’s perfectly alright Jane. We’ve monopolized enough of your weekend. To ask for more would be selfish.”

He gave Luke a pointed glare, and the dark haired man shrugged,

“Alright so call me selfish.”

Jane smiled at him, and rose up, moving to hug his shoulders,

“I think I’ll call you tomorrow, how’s that? Please excuse me. I better go try and find some of my own clothing.”

She winked at Thranduil, and once she’d left the kitchen, Luke was at his side immediately.

“What was that?”

“You being an asshole again.”

“Why? Because I wanted to spend more time with her? I just want to get to know her better.”

Thranduil rolled his eyes,

“You wanted more nookie and you know it. I’m sure Jane has things she needs to take care of at home.”

Luke scoffed,

“Like you didn’t. Maybe I did. She’s incredible. Unlike any woman I’ve ever been with. I don’t know if it’s that ‘quiet librarian’ thing, but whatever she’s got going, I like it. However, I would beg to differ. I _do_ like to get to know women. Jane is fascinating. I know you disapproved of it, but our text conversations were quite fun.”

Thranduil growled,

“I didn’t just disapprove. It was repulsive. You acted like an overgrown child. You’re lucky you didn’t scare her off. You still might if you don’t shut up. She said she’d call us, and that’s good enough for me.”

Luke waved a finger,

“Ah, ah, ah now. She said she’d call _me_.”

Thranduil smirked,

“But whose number does she have?”

Luke paled.

“Yeah okay. You’re right. So you won, fair and square. She’ll call you. But tell her I say hello when she does.”

“When I do what?”

They both turned around to find Jane, fully dressed and looking rather amused. She knew they’d been talking about her, but she didn’t seem to mind.

Thranduil felt his cheeks heat up, but Luke was bristling with confidence, and he sauntered over to her, looking her up and down as if he wanted to mess her prim and perfect outfit up all over again.

“Jane, promise you’ll want to talk to me, even when you call this big lug’s number.”

He pulled her into a half embrace, and she pushed against his chest, laughing,

“Yes of course I will. Why wouldn’t I?”

Luke shrugged,

“Thrandy’s got it in his head that you don’t like me. At least, not as much.”

Jane sighed, exasperated.

“This is not a competition. I told you both last night. What is it about men?”

Luke cocked his brow,

“You like it. You like us fighting over you. Admit it.”

Thranduil disliked the way Luke was steering the conversation, but from what he could see, Jane wasn’t uncomfortable, just unfamiliar with the situation. As much as they all were.

“Maybe I do.”

A blush colored her cheeks, and though Luke had her in his arms, Thranduil would have gladly pushed him aside to place a kiss on each spot.

Jane giggled, but finally escaped from his grasp,

“Alright I really have to go now. You guys stay out of trouble okay?”

Thranduil chuckled, and Luke sighed,

“If you insist.”

Jane nodded, only half serious,

“No more pranks.”

“Okay.”

Thranduil lifted his hands from the dishes in the sink to give her a parting wave, and she returned it with a smile, before stepping out the front door.

“Luke, go make sure she reaches her car safely.”

Thranduil ordered and his friend gladly complied.

He sighed.

He hoped Jane’s patience with them was infinite, for she would be needing it.

***

Jane arrived home around lunchtime, and was hopeful that Darcy hadn’t vanished. She wanted to talk to her about _everything,_ and she was also in desperate need of advice.

The front door opened and the first thing Jane noticed was the smell of baking cookies. Not the most healthy of lunches, but suddenly she felt ravenous.

“Darce? Where are ya?”

She passed a tray of golden brown chocolate chip cookies, and only just refrained from snagging one. She was too much of a control freak not to wash her hands before eating anything.

There was a noise like the sound of a book falling to the floor, or someone stumbling, and Jane was about to call out again, when a blond haired blur rushed past her.

“Um, hello?”

She realized with horror it was Don, and he was completely naked.

He slipped behind the kitchen island before he spoke.

“Hey Jane. We weren’t expecting you this early.”

Jane, for her part, was utterly horrified. She’d seen Don naked before, but not like this. He wasn’t there to see her. He was there with Darcy. Her best friend, who she sorely needed to be her friend, not her ex’s new girl.

Jane wasn’t sure if she was ready to cry or scream, or maybe both.

Darcy walked into the kitchen, nonchalant despite being topless, and grabbed one of the freshly baked cookies.

“Hey Jane good to have you home. Could you make us some coffee to go with our cookies?”

Although her mouth was full, Jane caught most of what she said.

But she could only shake her head.

“Um no. Please go put some more clothes on, and you…just go away for now. Please.”  
Jane waved a vague hand in Don’s direction, and he sheepishly nodded before darting back to Darcy’s bedroom.

Darcy leaned a hip against the island and cooed at the cookies, as Jane collected her thoughts. She set down her overnight bag, and tried to keep calm.

“What the hell is going on?” So much for that.

“I baked cookies for a snack because we got hungry after-“

Jane held up a hand,

“Wait. I can guess. Please don’t speak. I don’t care about the cookies. I care about you bringing Don over, without letting me know.”

Darcy rolled her eyes,

“Oh I’m sorry, but in case you forgot, this is my apartment too. Besides, I thought you’d be back much later, and I figured we’d be done by then.”  


Jane felt the tears coming back,

“That’s not the point! This apartment is equally ours, who cares? I just don’t like having to see Don’s naked ass when I’ve just left two of the most perfect guy’s apartment.”

Darcy cocked a brow, and munched down on another cookie.

Jane continued,

“Why do you have to flaunt him around in front of me like this?”

Don piped up, perhaps unnecessarily from Darcy’s bedroom, as he’d been eavesdropping,

“Jane, since when have you been the jealous type. If anyone’s got the right to be angry, it’s me.”

Jane shrieked at him, patience having long evaporated,

“You’re so stupid that you still think this is about you. We were never really a couple! Now all of a sudden you’re walking around stark naked in my apartment, and sleeping with my best friend? If that’s not the biggest coincidence this century I don’t know what is.”

Don shrunk back from her, both afraid of her noise, and her words. He knew she was right. But he and Darcy hadn’t even considered how they might be harming Jane’s feelings.

It was too late now. Jane was on a roll.

“Furthermore, I’m not going to help you with your lesson plans and research, I’m sick of doing all the work. I felt obligated when we were, whatever the hell we were! But no more!”

She stood there, chest heaving and cheeks flushed as her anger consumed her last vestiges of calm.

Darcy approached her carefully, like one would a frightened animal,

“Jane, Don’s not just seeing me. He’s going to be moving in. maybe you could look for a new place? I’d help you.”

Jane might have fainted dead away if she’d skipped breakfast. As it was, she felt her knees wobble slightly. She couldn’t imagine a more awkward living situation.

Her voice was so quiet; it was almost a whisper,

“Now you’re asking me to leave? And you’re going to help me look for a new place so you and your new boyfriend, still my ex, by the way, can live together? Has the world gone mad?”

Don smiled sympathetically,

“No Jane. I’m afraid the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

Jane lost it, and she strode over to him, where he stood leaning against Darcy’s doorframe, clad in dark wash jeans barely clinging to his muscular hips, the sight of which used to make her feel overheated for an entirely different reason, and slapped him across the face.

“You’re sleeping with my best friend! I think my world just got a lot smaller Don!”

Don only looked slightly surprised, while behind Jane, Darcy was fighting the urge to laugh. It was definitely the wrong time.

Jane stepped back from him, her palm stinging, and pulled out her cellphone.

“I need to make a phone call. _Excuse me._ ”

The words came out harsher than she’d meant, and she didn’t see the look the two exchanged as she left the room.

Darcy sighed, and picked up another cookie,

“That went well.”

Don grimaced,

“I think we should have waited to tell her until she’d gotten laid by one of her boytoys.”

Darcy giggled,

“You might be right. But I swear, she left the house yesterday wearing something different…so maybe they tried it, and something happened?”

Don raised his hands,

“I don’t want to know. I still feel bad, and my cheek doesn’t even hurt. It’s like being hit by a feather. Nothing like the power you have.”

Don rubbed said cheek, and Darcy winked at him from across the room.

Some things were better left to remain in the bedroom.


	17. Chapter 17

“Luke?”

Jane’s voice sounded strange, as if she was underwater, and Luke pressed the phone closer to his ear,

“Yeah it’s me. What’s up?”

“Can I come over?”

Luke glanced at Thranduil, who sat lounging on the couch, flipping through the channels, attempting to find something decent to watch, despite having nearly a thousand different stations.

“Sure. Is everything okay?”

“Not really. I’ll explain when I get there.”

“Okay. See you in a bit.”

“Bye.”

Luke hung up the phone, and turned to Thranduil, who looked as if he might burst with curiosity.

“Who was that?”

Luke held out his phone gingerly,

“It was Jane. I think something’s wrong. She’s coming over.”

Thranduil’s expression lightened,

“Really? She just left, and she already misses me.”

Luke rolled his eyes and laughed mockingly at his roommate,

“Surely you’re mistaken, she’s coming back for round two with me. You get to go wash my car.”

The blond scoffed,

“As if. I know just as well as you that your car is perfectly fine. You haven’t used it in the last week; you’ve been bumming my car and using my gas. You still owe me twenty bucks for last week by the way.”

Luke reached into his pocket, as if to retrieve his wallet, and pulled out his hand, his middle finger sticking up,

“Oh sorry. I appear to be out of cash at the moment. Check back next week.”

Thranduil snorted,

“You’re such a dick.”

Luke pursed his lips,

“Oh swearing! What will Jane say when I tell her?”

Thranduil laughed,

“Tell her it’s better to be called a dick than to not have one at all.”

Luke punched him in the shoulder,

“Nice try. But I think she was crying. That’s what it sounded like. I hope nothing happened.”

Thranduil refrained from retaliating, and simply sat back against the couch cushions,

“Well, we’ll find out soon enough.”

***

Jane arrived and relayed the entire affair.

She may have exaggerated a bit, just for flair and dramatics. She told them how she had walked in to find Darcy and her ex on the kitchen table, leaving out the part about the freshly baked cookies, which had actually been center stage.

Luke joked that her best friend dating her ex sounded straight out of Norse or Greek mythology. Jane didn’t laugh.

She told them how Darcy had suggested she go looking for a new place, even though they’d hardly talked about anything at all, except the incredibly awkward situation with Don.

Luke and Thranduil instantly leapt on the opportunity, and asked Jane if she wanted to stay with them. Simply platonic, and she could always pay rent if she felt like it.

The men exchanged a look that said they really wouldn’t charge her a thing, as her company would be compensation enough, but they wanted to let Jane feel more at ease.

Jane gaped at them both, and she could have sworn she’d imagined the whole thing.

“What?”

Thranduil hastily spoke,

“Well, only if you want to of course. It’s just, we’ve had the extra bedroom for so long, since we couldn’t decide if Luke needed another office or if we wanted it to be a game room…it’s just collecting dust really.”

Jane felt her eyes sting, and she willed herself not to cry,

“You guys. You’re amazing. I don’t know what to say.”

Luke put his arm around her, and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead,

“Say yes. Give us a chance at, this.”

He gestured vaguely at the three of them, as they sat on the couch, Jane sandwiched between the two men.

She laughed, and her voice broke as she replied,

“Okay. But I still want to spend some time with you, individually. Would that be okay?”

Thranduil shrugged,

“I don’t see why not.”

Luke smiled,

“Do we have to flip a coin to see who goes first?”

Jane brought her thumb between her lips, and nibbled on the hangnail she’d worried all morning before slapping Don,

“No. I think I would like to be with Thranduil first. Since I did meet him first after all. This whole thing started with him. You could say it’s his fault.”

Luke only pouted for a few seconds, he knew she was right. Thranduil suddenly looked nervous,

“You’re sure? You really want to do this?”

Jane felt herself blush,

“Yeah, I mean, it’s worth a shot. But to make this work, it will take actual work. I mean, communication. That’s why I think it would be good for me to spend time with you, then you.”

She pointed to them one at a time, and Luke took her hand when it stopped on him, and kissed her knuckles. He liked seeing her blush around them, it was quite alluring. He also liked the chance to prove that he could be more than just a bag of tricks, and could be honest and patient with her.

She made him want to be better.

Thranduil on the other hand was already planning his time with Jane. He hoped she’d let him make them dinner, and maybe find out her favorite movie, so they could watch it together.

He enjoyed bonding over clichéd things, while Luke preferred a more hands on approach to his dates.

Not only literally.

Jane let them each take one of her hands, and she sat there for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet.

Eventually she knew she’d need to return home, and have a good talk with Darcy.

So reluctantly, she pulled away, and promised to call them soon. The guys both watched her leave again, and this time when she’d gone, the air in the house was much different.

They were both excited, and they both had no interest in merely watching TV.


	18. Chapter 18

It didn’t take Jane long to pack up her things, and she was grateful that while she was working, Darcy was blissfully absent.

Until the clock struck eight, and Jane heard the front door open. She sighed, and mentally prepared herself for battle.

“Jane?”

The familiar voice called, and she followed the sound out to the kitchen.

“Hello Darcy.”

Her long haired brunette friend pouted at her, and held out a shiny wrapped gift.

“Please don’t be angry with me anymore. It’s been a week. Surely we can make up now? It’s been months since you’ve called me Darcy. Here, take this. I got it for you. To help you with your new neighbors. Or roommates I guess.”

Jane fought the urge to smile, and took the gift politely. She opened it without trying to look too eager, and when she saw the contents, an assortment of flavored condoms, she turned beet red.

“Darcy!”

The girl in question giggled manically and pulled Jane in for a hug, despite her many protestations.

“I’m happy for you. You’ve got to understand that. I wish you didn’t have to move out. And I’m very sorry things happened in the precise fucked up order that they did. But you can’t choose who you love. Now you know that.”

Jane felt her eyes sting, and she nodded, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from falling.

“What am I going to do without you to help me with my fashion sense, and who’s going to look at the cute pictures of cats you find on the internet?”

Darcy laughed, but she sounded a bit sad too,

“I have no idea. I don’t think Don’s into that sort of thing.”

Jane hiccupped,

“Nope. He’s not. He does like back rubs, and you’re pretty good at those. After a long day, hunched over a microscope, he’d like that. He might even look at the cats after that.”

Darcy looked thoughtful,

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Am I forgiven?”

Jane looked into her friends eyes, barely a shade lighter than her own brown ones, and she nodded.

“Of course. I was just, I dunno. Holding on to some stupid jealously. Like, how Don moved on so quickly. How he picked you. I thought, selfishly, he’d only done it to hurt me. Now I know better. You’re completely right. I don’t even know what I’m doing with _them_ though. I’m not sure who I can see myself with.”

Darcy grinned,

“Is it that hard to choose? Why choose?”

Jane blushed again.

“I know. I mean, we sort of talked about it. I said it might be best if I could see them both, separately. We can all stand to learn a bit more about each other.”

Darcy picked up the box and shook it,

“Hells yeah.”

Jane shook her head,

“No! Not just like that. Oh my god Darce, I never thought I’d be saying this…but I already had sex with them both.”

Darcy’s jaw dropped, and she had a strange look on her face, something resembling awe and pride.

“You are my hero!”

Jane dissolved into giggles.

“Not even separately at all! At the same time.”

Darcy laughed,

“Yeah I kinda figured that. Based on your amount of guilt and embarrassment. But hey, if you had fun, they had fun, what’s wrong with that?”

Jane peered up at her friend,

“Um, nothing?”

Darcy socked her on the shoulder,

“Exactly! If Don and I find someone we both like, hells yeah am I going to suggest we do the do.”

Jane gaped,

“Are you really? You think that would happen?”

Darcy winked at her,

“I know it.”

Jane laughed,

“Okay, that’s quite enough of sex talking I think. I still need to finish up packing here.”

Darcy nudged her,

“So you can get back to the den of iniquity with your sex gods?”

Jane pursed her lips,

“No. So I can get settled in and have a decent night’s sleep.”

Darcy snorted,

“No sleeping tonight I’d imagine. Especially when you show them my housewarming gift.”

Jane didn’t bother to mention there was no way on earth that she’d be displaying that box. She’d shove it in one of her suitcases and pretend it didn’t exist, for the time being.

***

Thranduil studied his appearance in the bathroom mirror, making certain every silver blond strand was in place, and that his deep maroon tie was straight.

Luke would surely not let him hear the end of it if he left their apartment looking anything less than resplendent for his date with Jane.

His first solo date.

He could not deny the small flutterings of butterflies in his stomach. They weren’t unwarranted, but he knew there was nothing to truly be nervous about. He knew Jane, in the carnal sense as well as the literal.

She was a bright brilliant beautiful woman, and he still felt lucky that she’d chosen him. Even if she had accepted Luke to, like one might a stray cat.

He shook himself. He had no need to feel jealously or derision for Luke. Jane wanted to give them equal and fair chances to know her.

After a final once over, he exited the room, switching off the light as he went. He emerged into the living room to find Jane chatting with Luke while she waited.

He shot his friend a look, one that said “You couldn’t have told me she was already here?”

Luke merely shrugged and might have even poked his tongue out a bit, a clear “Fuck you, I wanted the time” reply.

Despite no major planning, both Thranduil and Jane had donned clothing in dark forest green.

Jane wore a silk dress that reached the tops of her knees, matched with shiny black patent leather pumps, and Thranduil had on a matching shirt with a slate grey suit jacket and black slacks.

Thranduil could only roll his eyes at his roommate, for once he reached for Jane’s hand, after a gentle kiss was placed upon it, earning her blush, he felt the return of his confidence.

“Are you ready to go?”

Jane nodded, and stood from the couch, smiling at Luke,

“Thank you for entertaining my while I killed time.”

She gave Thranduil a sly wink, and he watched amused as Luke actually pretended to look hurt.

“I was only a plaything for you?”

Thranduil chuckled,

“You so enjoy making others your playthings, heaven forbid you get a taste of your own medicine, eh Jane?”

She giggled,

“Indeed.”

Luke was utterly gob smacked as he watched the two of them leave, arm in arm.

“I’m not just the show before dinner.”

He mumbled to himself once he was sure the front door had been securely shut behind them.


	19. Chapter 19

“So where are you taking me?”

Jane asked Thranduil, once they’d gotten settled and set off into the night in his silver genesis coupe.

He looked over at her quickly, and a half smile slipped over his mouth,

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Jane giggled,

“Yes well, that is why I asked.”

Thranduil reached over and gently picked up her left hand in his right, stroking the back of it with his thumb,

“Not to worry Jane. It will be somewhere your beautiful dress will be appreciated.”

Jane blushed again, and shrugged,

“Alright. Does that mean steak and lobster? You know that your lamb spoiled me. I don’t know if I can enjoy anyone else’s version.”

Thranduil bit back a laugh,

“Jane you flatter me. I daresay any five star restaurant could certainly outdo my cooking skills.”

Jane grinned,

“I’m not so sure.”

 

Both of them were proven wrong in a sense, for when Thranduil ordered lamb just to see how it compared, and Jane chose the fish, they both ended up sharing each other’s entrée.

Jane teased that Thranduil might still have something to learn, and he swore if she continued that manner of speaking he might never cook for her again, and she would be left to suffer Luke’s horrible meals of ramen and hamburger helper.

“Oh no please!” Jane raised her hands in mock surrender, and Thranduil took the opportunity to spear another bite of fish from her plate.

“This seabass is truly divine. Perhaps I shall learn to cook fish. Then I will win you back.”

Jane sobered instantly, and the intensity of Thranduil’s gaze, despite his teasing, made her knees weaken. Thank goodness for her dignity she was already seated.

“You never lost me.”

Her voice had fallen to a whisper, and Thranduil simply looked at her, astonished.

They’d spent the night dancing around the main subject, the reason they were out alone in the first place, and until then, had never touched on it.

But the facts were thus, Thranduil felt deeply for Jane, and could only hope and pray that she returned even an infinitesimal amount of his feelings.

Jane couldn’t avoid his eyes, she had no reason to. She wasn’t afraid of this, she just worried deep down, as most women her age did. She’d just gotten out of one relationship with someone she hadn’t ever seen herself leaving. But now she was faced with a unique chance for a relationship with two different, yet somehow oddly similar men.

Maybe it was their differences that drew her to them?

But the fact was Thranduil was still awaiting an answer while she sat there, basking in the glow of his, dare she think it, love for her.

Jane coughed and took a large sip of her ice water. They’d wisely forgone alcoholic beverages, and she was never more grateful than that instant.

The cool liquid slipped down her throat, and she found her voice,

“Thranduil, I want you to know I don’t do things lightly. I don’t act on whims. I don’t jump into things blind. That’s what my friend Darcy does. I’ve seen it go wrong too many times to ever want to do that. But what I do want is what I think we could have. I want it so much.”

His hand snaked across the table and took hers, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to her palm. He closed his eyes, still uncertain whether he wasn’t about to be shouted at by Luke to wake up, and discover his brilliant imagination had created all this.

“You don’t know how happy that makes me Jane.”

Jane squirmed in her seat,

“Happy enough to get out of here? I kinda want to kiss you, but I’m afraid to scandalize all these high class patrons.”

She glanced around conspiratorially, and he laughed,

“I’m surprised at you, yet somehow I must agree. Let’s ditch this crowd.”

***

Thankfully, or luckily, when Jane and Thranduil arrived back to the apartment, Luke was nowhere to be found. The tangle of limbs and frenzied kisses that had begun the instant they’d exited the car continued all the way into Thranduil’s bedroom, and he felt not an ounce of guilt for kicking the door shut.

This was their night, and Luke would have his chance.

But now? He was prepared to show Jane just how much he cared for her, by worshiping every inch of her.

***

Jane would never admit how nervous she was. She had spent a magical evening with Thranduil, and that wasn’t even considering what happened after dinner.

Tonight, three days later, she was practically moved in with both men, and she still got butterflies when she passed one of them in the hall, or when one texted her to ask her opinion on dinner.

Usually it was to choose the type of take out.

Tonight, she was getting her one on one date with Luke. She knew he wasn’t like Thranduil. He wouldn’t be content with a quiet night in.

Neither did he want a loud night out.

She received a text from him informing her they would be having a touch of both, a fun night in. No sappy movies, they’d be battling to the death, on Luke’s game station. They’d start out with pizza and complete the night with a celebration of the victor, whoever it turned out to be.

Jane was almost sorry to see Thranduil being kicked out for the night, but it was only fair. Luke deserved her undivided attention, and she wanted the chance to see the side of him that wasn’t constantly trying to compete with his best friend.

Once Thranduil had vanished into the night, or as he’d whispered, to the showing of the new superhero movie, Jane turned to Luke, and prepared to ask him what sort of pizza they’d be devouring. She’d been at work all day, and a snack wrap had barely held her over for a couple hours.

Instead she found herself being swept up into an embrace to rival that of a hungry bear.“

Feels like ages since I’ve seen you.”

Luke mumbled against the skin of her neck, before tracing his lips along the edge of her collarbone.  


Jane blinked in shock, and gently pushed away from him.  


"For some reason, I hadn't planned on things escalating this quickly."  


Luke grinned at her mischievously,  


"But you had planned on this later? I'm just switching plans around. Dessert first, as it were."

Jane rolled her eyes,

“I’m starving for pizza now. Dessert later please.”

Luke managed another kiss to her cheek before relenting,

“Only because you said please.”

Once they’d demolished a whole pizza, most of which Jane could not take credit for, no matter how much Luke teased her, she was fully prepared to fail at whatever game he had planned.

“What’s this called again?”

She asked with a shriek, as she narrowly dodged another bloody faced alien.

“Half life!”

Luke shouted at her from the kitchen, where, despite his claims that he was thirsty, it felt to Jane more like he was abandoning her to a horrible demise.

“Why was this designed again?”

“To scare the shit out of you.”

Jane huffed,

“I thought you might say to give children nightmares! But that’s pretty dang close.”

She yelled in reply, and watched in horror as another character, not as plot central as her own, was eaten alive by the bloody alien.

“I don’t know how I’m going to sleep tonight.”

Jane mumbled to herself, and Luke miraculously heard her, and smirked behind her back,

“Good thing that wasn’t a requirement. So tell me, how far did you get this time?”

Jane’s progression in the game was barely subpar, bordering on awful, as she’d taken thirty minutes to finish one chapter.

Luke plopped down beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders, placing his free hand over hers on the controls, the other hand gently holding her arm.

“Here, try this.”

Jane knew better than most, tricks of the trade so to speak, and she wasn’t protesting. She enjoyed Luke being so close, and she barely paid any attention to what he was doing, now that he was once again invading her personal space, and this time, she didn’t want him to leave.

As much as she had enjoyed being wined and dined by Thranduil, she was having a wonderful time with Luke’s more domestic down to earth approach to their date.

To think she’d almost been worried she’d be bored…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> half life....aka the way to my heart. or portal.  
> and no offense to ramen, but it's not my cup of tea.


	20. Chapter 20

“So what did you think?” Luke asked her while they waited for the gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream to thaw enough to be scooped.

Jane shrugged, and then couldn’t help grinning.

“It was certainly an experience I’ll never forget.”

Luke chuckled,

“I know it. Your face when that first head crab leaps at you…oh my god.”

Jane pouted,

“Honestly? You enjoy seeing me scared to death? Thanks a lot.”

Luke’s face fell, and he was at her side instantaneously, ice cream forgotten and melting slightly,

“No Jane. I didn’t mean it like that-“

She couldn’t hold the laughter in any longer.

Giggles burst from her lips as she watched him pout even harder,

“Is that what they call…Gotcha!”

Luke shook his finger at her as he returned to the ice cream.

“We’ll make a trickster out of you yet Jane Foster. Now, one scoop or two?”

Jane sighed,

“I dunno, I’ve had such a trying evening, I think three is in order.”

She winked at him, and he froze, hand in mid-scoop, before a smile slipped over his face,

“Your wish…”

He left the phrase unfinished, but she knew it well.

“Are you sure you don’t want to watch a movie? Not every love story is sappy.”

Luke handed her the bowl with her asked for three scoops and shrugged,

“I suppose if it means getting to spend more time with you, how can I say no?”

Jane grinned,

“How indeed?”

 

The movie was of course anything but sappy, and Jane very much relished the way Luke took her hand after about three seconds of dancing around the subject, and continued to keep things relatively chaste throughout.

 

By the time the movie had ended, and Luke had risen to put everything up, Jane was suddenly bursting with nervous energy.

“So since we had dessert, does that mean I’m off the menu?”

More daring than she’d ever felt in her life, she crept over to where Luke was sponging off their dishes, and slipped her arms around him from behind, while planting a kiss at the base of his neck, just below where his dark hair started curling.

She felt him stiffen, and the present dish he’d been holding fall underwater to the bottom of the sink with a clunk.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

His voice was deeper, darker, and when he turned to face her, even with his wet hands on her back, pulling her in for a kiss, she didn’t find she minded.

He managed to kiss her breathless, and she completely forgot the rest of the sultry phrases she had planned to say. It seemed he didn’t care about that. He was there for her, he wanted her, and that was enough.

“Can they wait til tomorrow?”

She meant the dishes, and Luke nodded,

“Absolutely.”

“You, me, bed.”

She mumbled as he hoisted her into his arms, hands cupping her ass quite easily, and he smiled against her mouth,

“Exactly my thoughts.”

***

Thranduil arrived home to find a sink full of cold water, and semi-cleaned dishes. He drew his own conclusions, without bothering to investigate.

He felt no jealously at all. In fact, he couldn’t wait to find out just how Jane was feeling. He’d grown rather comfortable with her there just for those first few days after their date, and hoped she wouldn’t be planning to run away just because of something stupid Luke might have said.

Or probably did say.

***

“Morning.”

Luke was still frowning at the abundance of light streaming through his windows…windows that had curtains, so why was it so bright?

“Mmmph.”

A girlish giggle sounded, and Luke dared to crack open one eye, only to find a certain brunette eyeing him from the end of the bed, clad in his dark emerald plaid shirt, and nothing else that his one eye could see.

“Good morning?”

“Is that a question?”

“Yes? Why is it so bright?”

“I opened the curtains.”

“I knew that.”

“It’s too much like a cave in here.”

“That’s because it’s like way too early for humans to be awake. You’re…some animal that likes mornings.”

He mumbled the last bit, and she laughed! Well he had an excuse; it was much too early to be attempting to remember animals and their sleep habits.

“Early bird gets the worm? Is that what you were searching for?”

Luke nodded; words not possible any longer. His head was aching and he could smell coffee, far off in the distance, but he didn’t want to get up and pursue it.

Jane was suddenly sliding up towards him on the bed, and he was becoming slightly more awake every inch she drew closer.

“I think in my case, early bird gets…something else.”

Luke’s eyes both snapped open at that, and the touch of her hand on his thigh had his mind fully awakening.

“Maybe we need to rewrite that stupid little ditty.”

Jane laughed airily,

“But it’s for children. What I’m thinking can hardly be appropriate.”

Luke nodded his assent, and leaned back against the pillows, fighting with his subconscious, praying this wasn’t some perfect dream he was having, while Jane was actually out having breakfast with Thranduil, and their date wasn’t for a few days.

When her lips touched him, he knew it had to be real.

His hands fisted the sheets without a thought, rather than knot in her hair. He wasn’t a savage after all.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! thanks for reading :)

Thranduil looked up as they walked into the kitchen, and he smiled.

Jane thought he looked a bit too calm, as if expecting her to try and start raving and ranting, and insist she was moving out. His eyes scanned over her form, and he was secretly delighted to see she seemed to only be wearing Luke’s shirt, and her toned legs led down to shockingly pink painted toenails.

Luke looked like the cat that got the canary, and the cream. It wasn’t enough that she was wearing his shirt, it seemed he thought he had much more to be proud about.

Thranduil tried not to look smug when Jane slipped by him to grab a mug of coffee, and kissed him on the cheek good morning.

But when he looked back over at Luke, he was mouthing something.

Whatever it was, he clearly didn’t want Jane to hear.

Luke resorted to crude hand gestures, and Thranduil frowned. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jane, but deep down, a dark part of him was glad she hadn’t tried to kiss him on the lips.

He wasn’t ready for _that_ level of intimacy with his roommates.

“How was the movie?”

Jane piped up from his right shoulder, and he glanced away from Luke’s smirking face, to lose himself in her open and alert one.

“It was…predictable. But entertaining. Did you two have fun?”

Jane rolled her eyes good naturedly,

“Oh no. Didn’t Luke tell you? He destroyed me in Half Life. I couldn’t even beat the first three chapters.”

Luke winked at him and his expression told Thranduil all he needed to know.

“That sounds, interesting. What would you like for breakfast?”

Jane winced and shook her head,

“I think I should pass. I ate way too much pizza last night. If I’m not careful, you two will spoil me and I won’t get any work done. I really need to put in a couple hours today. Even if I don’t teach until Monday, I haven’t even glanced at the next month’s lesson plans.”

Thranduil put his arm around her, and pressed a kiss to her forehead,

“Oh Jane. That’s your problem. You work too hard.”

Luke frowned at him over her head,

“Not a problem though really. We admire your dedication, and personally, I love that about you.”

Jane perked up at that, and Thranduil had to move swiftly to keep her from head-butting him.

“What did you say?”

Luke ran a hand through his still sleep tousled curls, normally a look that took him ten or fifteen minutes to perfect, but for a strange reason, the stars aligned so he’d wake up like that when Jane was around. That was now to be almost all the time.

“I love that about you Jane.”

A sheepish smile was replaced by a hauntingly honest look, and Jane felt her knees weaken.

The last one on earth she’d expected to voice such things.

“Really?”

Luke was intensely staring at Jane’s bare feet, but when Thranduil coughed, none-too-subtly, he looked back up at her.

Bright green met warm brown, and Jane set her coffee mug down so fast she was half afraid it might crack in her haste to hug him.

She knew he wasn’t saying anything lightly. She wouldn’t have let him hear the end of it if it’d been a tease, and Thranduil would have gladly kicked him out for a week.

His hands slid up her arms, palms cupping her elbows, and he closed the distance between them, until their faces were barely an inch apart.

“Jane Foster. You’re something special. Thank you for spending the night with me. I know we didn’t really talk much, dig to the nitty gritty, but I know I’ve never felt like this before.”

Thranduil felt as if he was intruding, but he couldn’t seem to get his leg muscles to work, to take him away.

Luke leaned in the final distance and kissed Jane, but he wasn’t doing it for show. From what Thranduil could see it looked open, honest, as if he was baring his soul to her.

Of course, perhaps that was merely the romantic in him, beating out the jealous fool who wanted to steal Jane from him, and stake his claim. If anyone had suggested Luke had a heart or soul to lose to a woman a month before, Thranduil would have laughed at them.

This wasn’t a war. It wasn’t a sparring match for Jane’s hand.

Hand?

He wanted her heart. He wanted her all. But he was not a selfish man.

Jane pulled away, feeling slightly dazed, but still of rather sound mind and sound body. She could sense it somehow, Thranduil felt left out. Why shouldn’t he?

“Wait here.”

She whispered to Luke, who merely nodded, and winked at her as he pretended to freeze in place.

Jane walked over to Thranduil, who hadn’t noticed quite how hard he’d been gripping the sink and counter for leverage. Jane glanced past where he stood, and noticed that the sink was empty, and even shinier than she’d ever seen it.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

Jane reached up and smoothed the frown lines that had begun to form at his query,

“For everything. Most recently, thank you for doing the dishes. Thank you for making coffee. Thank you for being so wonderful. What would I be without you?”

The way her voice lilted and the way she leaned into him, Thranduil knew it was silly to feel the same nerves he’d felt on their first date, but those butterflies were back with a vengeance.

He was standing, poised above the edge of a cliff, and she was asking, begging with her eyes for him to jump.

She’d catch him. He was certain of it.

“I don’t know.”

He answered as honestly as he could, and she smiled, so gently and so sweetly.

“Alone. Without you, I’d be truly lost.”

She stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him. His arms encircled her almost of their own accord, and only Luke saw just how white his knuckles had gone with their grip on the counter.

He’d jumped, but it didn’t feel like falling. It was more like flying.

Luke gave them a few moments before he came up behind Jane and rested his chin on her shoulder, and his hands stayed at her waist, but just barely. Her tempting skin just beneath the hem of the shirt was practically singing to him, but he resisted.

“What now?”

He whispered against the soft plaid of his shirt, that he secretly loved her wearing.

“Now I really need to go get in the shower to get to work.”

Thranduil smiled against her mouth, and pulled away, looking down at her with a curious stare,

“Alone?”

Jane chewed thoughtfully on her bottom lip, and she looked at them both,

“Maybe not.”

Luke cheered silently, and together, they made their way out of the kitchen to the nearest bathroom.

One day at a time.

They’d never admit how much they enjoyed distracting Jane.

***

**END**

 

 

 

 

 


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